Madea's Big Happy Family

Byron!

I don't even like

coming into doctors' offices.

I don't get sick ever.

I don't never get sick.

- You know that.

- Well, thank you for coming with me.

You're welcome, honey.

You know I'm always on your side, honey.

I just don't get sick.

I don't never get sick.

You're... You sick, but I don't get sick.

I'm sorry.

- You nervous, honey?

- No.

It's gonna be whatever it's gonna be.

Your mama taught you well, baby.

You got strong faith, Shirley, strong faith.

Hello.

Good God. Lord have mercy.

Good God, he fine.

Doc, I'm sick.

It's in my chest, Doc.

Feel my chest. Come on.

Put your hands on my chest, Doc. Feel me.

Check my chest, Doc, please. I'm...

Aunt Bam. Stop it.

She's cute.

Cute? Cute is for puppies.

You mess with me, Doc, I'll have you

somewhere sucking on your thumb,

calling for your mama!

Standing on your left leg,

bowing down on your right,

wondering what I'm gonna do

to you tonight.

Pop, pop, pop it off...

- You married, Doc?

- No, ma'am.

- You straight?

- Aunt Bam...

What? You gotta ask

these questions nowadays, honey.

Will you please wait

out in the waiting room?

- Please?

- I'm embarrassing you?

I'm sorry, baby. I don't mean no harm.

Help me up, Doc.

Just help me up. I gotta bend up like this.

You see, Doc, listen, I don't even get sick.

I don't even like

coming into doctors' offices.

'Cause all y'all like to do is just probe

all over people, feeling, touch all of them...

Two, four, six-pack.

Look at that?

What? Sorry.

Okay, and look, look at your little offices.

This is too small in here.

Ain't no room for nobody to turn around.

See, I like to turn it.

When I turn it around I like to...

- He's straight.

- Aunt Bam.

Okay. But look here, watch this, watch this.

Did you like that? I

know he did, look at him.

- Aunt Bam, go on, now.

- You blushing. Okay, I'm sorry.

And don't you be out there smoking.

You better be worried about

what I'm gonna be out here smoking.

'Cause I'm gonna be out here smoking.

I'm going out here to smoke.

And I like what I'm gonna be smoking.

I like to see my name in puff.

She's something else.

You don't know the half of it.

So tell me, Dr. Evans.

Well, Ms. Shirley,

I hate to be the bearer of bad news.

Just tell me.

The reason you've been short of breath

and having the headaches

is because the cancer is back.

It's much more aggressive this time.

I'm sorry.

I've called in a specialist who wants to try

another round of chemotherapy.

Listen, I'm tired.

We've been fighting this thing for, what,

seven years?

I really thought we had it beat.

Don't you look so sad.

What I know is that

every day that God gives us is a gift.

And when he stops giving it to me,

then I get to be with him.

So it's all right.

You're an amazing woman, Shirley.

You're always smiling.

Your faith gives me hope.

Well, God bless you.

I'll call and make an appointment. Okay?

Thank you, Doctor.

Good kush, good kush,

good kush, good kush.

Good kush, good kush.

Hey. Christ, praise the Lord.

Good kush.

Baby, I wouldn't go in there.

I wouldn't go in there if I was you, hon.

I told you.

Contact.

She's gonna be right

when she comes out of there.

- Cora. Cora.

- Aunt Bam.

Baby, what are you doing here?

Mr. Brown wasn't feeling well last night.

Well, you know he has diabetes, right?

- He does?

- Yep.

- Lord, that's gonna kill him.

- Don't say that.

- Lord, he's gonna die. He's gonna die.

- He's...

He's not gonna die with that.

- Well, go on back there and see him then.

- Well, all right.

Well, wait a minute now, why are you...

I'm all right, honey, I don't get sick.

I'm here with Shirley. Shirley's back there.

- How is she?

- She's okay.

She's okay. She's got strong faith.

- That's what we need.

- She's got a strong back, too.

That could have made a lot for her

back in the day...

But, she could pull the hell out of a wagon.

- What you... - Yeah. I ain't even...

We didn't need horses.

Shirley was a horse all by herself.

She works like a horse,

she treats people nice.

Yeah.

It's just not good to get sick

and you treat people nice.

That just don't ever seem fair to me.

- Well, I...

- But it's okay, I guess,

you know,

the Lord just moves in mysterious ways.

- Yes, he does.

- His wonders to perform.

Yes, well, okay.

I'll talk to you later, all right?

- I'm going to see him.

- Please do, 'cause you...

- And I'll call you. Don't call me.

- All right.

'Cause you talks too much is what you do.

What you be saying, though.

Hey, baby. What the doctor say?

It's not good.

Girl, you gonna be all right.

You gonna be all right.

Not this time.

I need you to call all my children.

Okay, well, when we get home,

baby, I'll turn it on for you.

As soon as we get to the house,

All My Children...

Bam.

You know, Bam,

you need to stop smoking all that weed.

Every time you smoke that weed

you act like you crazy.

What are you talking about? You said

you wanted to see All My Children.

I said I was gonna turn it on for you.

I wanna see all my family.

Well, okay, make up your mind, hon.

Do you wanna see All My Children

or you wanna see All in the Family?

Which one?

- Bam.

- What?

Come on, let's go catch this

bus before we're too late.

Wait, Shirley, baby,

did the doctor ask for my number?

Did he? Did he ask for my digits?

...come to the hospital?

You just gonna come up here

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