Mad Families Page #2

---

I need this vacation.

- It's beautiful here.

- It is, ain't it?

Honey, you gonna like

my brother Franklin.

All I got to say is,

is hold off on having kids

for as long as you can.

'Cause they will suck

the life out of you.

I mean, it's like sticking a vacuum

cleaner in a pumpkin, just...

- What'd you say, Mama?

- Just suck it all... Huh?

Baby, nothing. Mama loves you.

Go on. Go play.

Wait. Hold up.

Are you saying you invited me

as some kind of blind date

for Franklin?

Girl, no, no, no!

We enjoy your company.

- Oh, girl, 'cause I was about to...

- But it is a blind date.

- Hey, Jose, can you get those oranges?

- Are you kidding, Felipa?

Nothing can give the other

families the satisfaction

of watching a Mexican

carry a bag of oranges.

Like I'm selling them

on the side of the street.

Okay, are you serious?

God, you sound crazy.

Hey, excuse me! How much

do you want for those oranges?

- Ay, beat it, pendejo!

- Oh, crap. Angry.

Hey, Paco,

you got any roses over there?

Who asked you, Oprah?

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'll take that one.

Hey, what is that?

In your bag.

Yeah, that. What's...

Recycled. Glass sculpture.

My exhibit. It's next week.

- What? You have an exhibit?

- It's called...

"The Exhibit."

Oh, at least there's some chicas

calientes to stare at, huh?

Jose! What if Francesca

heard you say that?

She ain't here.

And we ain't married.

Besides,

just 'cause I'm on a diet

doesn't mean

I can't look at the menu.

You mean stare at the menu?

Tuck dollar bills

into that menu?

I mean, come on! Man, she's got

so much wiggle in her walk,

she could butt-dial

a rotary phone.

I heard them talking.

I guess she came as a blind

date for that Franklin guy.

- Word?

- Word.

What? What'd you just say?

- Are you all right?

- No!

No, no, I'm not all right.

Listening to you two talk

would make anybody sick.

Men are idiots.

Blind date bullshit.

Don't let her call you that.

She's talking to you, too,

pendejo.

Is our sister

on her menopause or what?

Ah! The Jones family!

- Jones!

- Whoa!

Chilluns are everywhere.

Hey, I really hope you guys

like the park, man.

I don't know what happened

with this mix-up.

I know I booked

the last available site.

What changed your mind about

coming with us this year, huh, son?

What?

I love camping.

All this is me, Pops.

Come on, Franklin. Come on, bro.

That's bullshit, okay?

I hope you know this is not online camping.

It's actually the real thing.

And I hope you know this won't

be a online fist in your face.

It'll be the real thing.

You know something?

I'm tired of your sh*t.

Ron Ron, stop it.

You leave your brother alone.

Sorry, Daddy.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes