Lying to Be Perfect Page #2

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charge of your life and be all that you can be.

Oh, okay.

It's the advice my father gives me.

But hey, listen, if the whole

dream doesn't work for you...

...you can always do as he

tells me and demand change.

This one. Right here.

Right there?

- Yeah.

Thank you for the ride.

It was very nice of you.

Can I offer you anything for gas?

No. I'm cool.

All right.

It's probably none of my business but...

I think your father is wrong. I don't

think you can demand change from people.

I think you have to...

inspire it. You know?

Yeah.

All right. Let's see

what we got. You ready?

Dear Belinda. This is

my life. Or non-life.

I am a plus-size woman in her thirties.

with a cat in a pastel

colored apartment.

Could I be any more the stereotype?

I'm under-appreciated at work.

And the only physical

contact I get is from my cat.

Am I hopeless? Can I get out of this

rut? Or should I just buy another cat?

Signed "Lifeless in Los Angeles".

All right, Belinda. What do you got?

Dear Lifeless...

Your cat must be tired of the pity-party

you've been throwing yourself everyday.

Maybe if you didn't put yourself down

so much you wouldn't be so pathetic.

You want a life? Get one.

Grant yourself a wish to change. Then

stop complaining and do something.

Yeah, I did something.

What?

Hi, Lory.

Lory...

...you know how you said Shine

needs to distinguish itself.

...by adding an advice columnist to

address issues facing women today?

I said I wanted a columnist

to answer all the dimwits.

who ask embarasing questions

about their sex lifes.

Well, I answered your sample questions.

...for the advice columnist in what

I believe is a biting and edgy way.

Oh, you're serious.

I wanna write...

So, write.

...here. Lory, I wanna write here.

Listen, I've been an assistant editor for

over a year. And before I came to Shine I wrote.

...articles for my college paper.

Good stuff. I can do this.

It's good to dream big.

Thank you.

Being a columnist is a very

important, very public position.

It's the face of the magazine.

Right.

You're not a face.

You are just a big

girl with a big dream.

Nice try, though.

She wants a face. I'll give her a face.

Bing!

I'm hot.

Hi, Lory.

What's wrong with Belinda?

What do you mean?

I can't get her on the

phone to discuss the book.

If she doesn't call me back I'm going

to have to fly to London tomorrow.

Is that really necessary?

This book is a huge deal. It will

launch a new division for the company.

They're dumping a load of

money into promoting it.

Book tour, TV, Oprah...

Belinda will be everywhere.

In person?

That's why they call them

"personal appearences".

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