Love Stinks Page #3

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or Turquoise...

or whatever crayon

she was named after.

So you want

an exclusive relationship...

after six hours?

Or I can just be your decorator.

It's up to you.

You can have the wildest night

of sex in your life...

or a few nice throw pillows.

Oh, God!

- What'd I do?

- Good morning, Miss Littlejohn.

What in God's good name

is going on here?

You know what?

I opened the showroom

a little bit early...

and this customer wanted to know

how well the bed performed.

So this is

the new Sealy Posturepedic?

I like it.

After one night,

you had yourself a girlfriend.

Chelsea quit her job to work

full-time decorating your house.

And she also decorated you.

She even got you

to take allergy shots...

so you could build up

a tolerance to her cat.

Meanwhile, we were shooting

our new sitcom...

Ronnie and Juliet.

Chelsea, this is my agent.

Where do you find these babes?

Hi. Marty Mark.

With a name like that,

I should be modeling underpants.

The man's show is

on the tall schedule.

- We haven't shot the pilot yet.

- Irrelevant.

I spoke to Bloomstein,

president of the network.

He said it looks terrific.

Bloomstein never says that.

He says, "Looks fantastic."

Which doesn't mean squat.

But he said, "Looks terrific,"

which is fantastic.

Ronnie, we have to stop.

Why? What?

Was I moving my tongue too fast?

I have this rule.

I can't have sex with a man

until we have three meals together.

I said that to Seth.

Get used to it.

Our men write sitcoms.

If they had original thoughts,

they'd be novelists.

They don't make any money.

Baby.

That was such a great show...

but next time you steal my lines,

I want a credit that says...

"Cute dialogue by Chelsea Turner."

It's a done deal.

- Mr. On-The-Schedule!

- Yeah.

I really like this guy.

I think that Seth

could be the one.

Are you serious?

Does he feel the same way?

Please, he's a man.

He has no idea how he's feeling.

I know your man Elvis gave

Colonel Parker a brand-new Cadillac.

I want a Jaguar

with two phones and a fax.

The show was fantastic.

No, it was terrific.

I knew you guys

had a hit in you.

I'm glad you saved it for us,

instead of wasting it on NBC.

It is so over for those guys.

Girl, it's about time.

I'm so used to you

with these...

GQ-looking, just feel like

going bare-chested...

bicycle riding through

Central Park kind of men.

And they always break my heart.

And they always will.

That is why Seth is perfect.

He's so sweet.

He makes me laugh.

I finally found a nice guy

that's ready to settle down.

Lunch tomorrow, okay?

We'll go over strategy.

Now remember, it took me three

breakups, seven ultimatums...

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