Love Potion No. 9

Synopsis: Two scientists who are hopeless with the opposite sex experiment with a substance that makes them irresistible to anyone who hears them speak.
Director(s): Dale Launer
Production: Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment
Rotten Tomatoes:
92 min

and then look at mine.

Do you see any kind | of a difference here?

Clothes aren't | important to you,

but they're | important to me.

Taste is very important.

I like designer clothes. | I like nice things.

I drive a BMW. | What about you?

Uh, I drive | a Volkswagen.

- Fahrvergnugen. | - Fahrvergnugen.

You know what that | really means?

Can't afford | the Mercedes.

Well, you're right.

We're not really | suited for each other,

and, uh, | so I'll just go

and get myself | a chemical girl.

I'm sorry.

I was just trying | to make a point.

I tell you what.

I'll go home | with you tonight

and be your | total sex slave...

if you can answer | one question correctly.


All right.

Who designed this top?

I wouldn't know.

Bye-bye, now.

[Engine Rattling]

[Police Radio]


You're supposed to come | to a complete stop at the sign.

Can I see your driver's license, | your registration,

your proof | of insurance, please?


What the hell | kind of car is this?

It's an Alta Pazzoli.

My car s-stalls

unless I keep | my... my foot on the gas,

and I was | just trying to get...

I've already had | two moving violations this year,

and if I get a third, | they might cancel my insurance, so...

do you think | that maybe you could...

please make this | a warning?

Is this | your correct address?


[Engine Backfring | And Sputtering]

[Engine Backfres]


You have zero messages.


You have zero messages.

[Classical Music Plays]

[Same Classical Music | Plays]


This is bad.



Come here. | Come here.


Bad rice.

Bad rice.

Be quiet.

I am very serious.

So am I.

I love you so much.

I want to tell you | that I love you.

[Telephone Rings]





It's all right.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Dale Launer

Dale Launer (born May 19, 1952) is an American comedy screenwriter. His films include Ruthless People, Blind Date, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and My Cousin Vinny. more…

All Dale Launer scripts | Dale Launer Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018


Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Português (Portuguese)
  • Deutsch (German)
  • العربية (Arabic)
  • Français (French)
  • Русский (Russian)
  • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • 한국어 (Korean)
  • עברית (Hebrew)
  • Gaeilge (Irish)
  • Українська (Ukrainian)
  • اردو (Urdu)
  • Magyar (Hungarian)
  • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italiano (Italian)
  • தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Türkçe (Turkish)
  • తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Čeština (Czech)
  • Polski (Polish)
  • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Românește (Romanian)
  • Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latinum (Latin)
  • Svenska (Swedish)
  • Dansk (Danish)
  • Suomi (Finnish)
  • فارسی (Persian)
  • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English (English)

Discuss this script with the community:



    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Love Potion No. 9" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 26 Sep. 2020. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Love Potion No. 9

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

    Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.