Love And Other Drugs Page #3

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- Okay.

Pfizer makes his patients happier,

- so he makes more money.

- Okay.

- Wait, the pens, the pens!

- Oh, the pens!

Always lead with a pen.

Gifts establish reciprocity!

Doctor!

Hey, Doctor, Jamie Randall. Pfizer.

How are you doing?

- No, thank you.

- Look... It's wet out here.

I don't want you compromising

your immune system.

Let's talk about Zithromax for a second.

Which part of "No, thank you"

do you not understand?

- You wanna take a pen?

- No, thank you.

Okay.

That's 33% fewer phone calls for you

at 4:
00 a. m.

Please stop, okay?

That's why I wanna talk to you

about Zithromax, okay?

We are throwing antibiotics at people

the minute they sneeze,

and it doesn't work on viruses anyway.

- What's your name?

- Goldstein.

Right. Dr. Goldstein,

okay, what we're doing...

No, what you're doing is creating

classes of drug-resistant superbugs.

And that might be good for business,

because you will develop

stronger antibiotics

and ruin people's

immune systems altogether.

- No... You...

- Thank you.

Models. Beauty queens.

Equestrian princesses. Sh*t.

You know what I heard?

They're even starting to hire strippers.

I heard that.

Hey, Lisa!

- Her name's not Lisa.

- I know. I know.

But if every time I say, "Hey, Lisa,"

then eventually she'll come up to me

and she'll be like, you know,

"My name's not Lisa, it's Jennifer,"

or whatever, and I'll do a big apology

and I'll say, "I thought you were the Lisa

who was mad at me for not calling. "

And from then on, Jennifer,

or whatever her name is,

will think that I dated a girl

who looked just like her, who I rejected.

She'll develop this unconscious need

to win my approval,

and from then on, it's cake.

Damn!

Accepted etiquette is one rep at a time.

Screw etiquette.

Competing reps are not your friends.

Okay, Knight.

- Where you going?

- Oh. Sorry.

Knight is a doc you gotta close.

Leads the largest group in the city.

Lots of f***ed-up college students

on Prozac who should be on Zoloft.

You always bring donuts?

Pharma sales is a lot like dating.

They want you to take them to dinner

and pretend to expect nothing in return.

- And no one ever got laid by going Dutch.

- Exactly.

Gail, good morning!

How are you this fine day?

Sick people touch those.

When I order a second test,

it's for a reason, God damn it.

Unbelievable!

That's him. Another time.

If they don't take us in five minutes,

we leave. Only losers wait.

There he is.

Hey there, beautiful. How you doing?

Get over here, Trey.

Two tickets to La Bohme on the 19th.

I hate you. Can't you go with me

instead of my husband?

Trey Hannigan. Lilly's Prozac rep,

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