Love Actually Page #3

And she said,

"No, Daniel, over mine."

And, uh, as usual, my darling girl...

and Sam's darling mum, was right.

So she's going to say her final farewell

to you, not through me,

but inevitably...

ever so coolly...

through the immortal genius

of the Bay City Rollers.

Do you love him?

Uh, what?

No, I just thought I'd ask the blunt question

in case it was the right one and

you needed someone to talk to about it.

And no one had ever asked you,

so you'd never been able to talk about it

even though you might have wanted to.

No, no. No is the answer.

Absolutely not.

So, that's a no then?

Yes.

Um...

This D.J., what do you reckon?

The worst in history?

Probably. I think it all hangs

on the next song.

Now here's one for the lovers.

That's quite a few of you.

I shouldn't be surprised and a half.

He's done it. It's official.

Worst D.J. In the world.

Sarah is waiting for you.

Oh, yes, of course. Um...

Great. Uh, good, good.

How are you doing, Mia?

Are you settling in fine,

learning who to avoid?

Absolutely.

Harry?

Sarah, switch off your phone...

and, um, tell me exactly how long it is

that you've been working here.

Um...

Two years, seven months,

three days and, I suppose,

what, two hours?

And how long have you

been in love with Karl,

our enigmatic chief designer?

[Nervous Chuckle]

Um...

Two years, seven months,

three days and, I suppose,

an hour and 30 minutes.

Thought as much.

Do you think everybody knows?

Yes.

Do you think Karl knows?

Yes.

Oh, that is... that is bad news.

Well, I just thought that maybe the time

had come to do something about it.

Like what?

Invite him out for a drink,

and then after about 20 minutes,

casually drop into the conversation

the fact that you'd like to marry him

and have lots of sex and babies.

You know that?

Yes.

And so does Karl.

Think about it, for all our sakes.

It's Christmas.

Certainly. Excellent.

Will do.

Thanks, boss.

Hi, Sarah.

Hi, Karl.

Excuse me.

[Man Over Radio]

# Come on and let it show #

[Cell Phone Ringing]

Babe.

Absolutely. Fire away.

Mia? Mia, could you

turn that down?

What is that?

And that was the Christmas effort

by the once-great Billy Mack.

Oh, dear me,

how are the mighty fallen.

I could safely put my hand up my arse

and say that is the worst record

I've heard this century.

Oh, and coincidentally,

I believe Billy will be...

a guest on my friend Mike's show

in a few minutes'time.

Welcome back, Bill.

So, Billy, welcome back to the airwaves.

New Christmas single,

cover of"Love Is All Around."

Except we've changed the word

"love" to "Christmas."

Yes. Uh, is that

an important message to you, Bill?

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