Love & Air Sex Page #3

"Oh, I have sex

with that sometimes. "

It's like an appliance.

Like a microwave.

Like a tiny

little microwave.

It's tiny?

Oh, like the fist of a preemie. Ew.

Uh, uh, uh, uh.

Stan's is...

Is what?

Is huge?

No.

Is hairy?

No.

Is it all crooked?

What?

Hey, I once had sex

with this guy

whose dick was so crooked it

looked like a question mark

whenever he got hard.

Oh! What do you

want to know, little lady?

No, it's...

It's perfect.

No, Cath,

"Was", okay?

You gotta put that dick

in the past tense.

No, I know.

Losing the sex stuff

and the relationship stuff,

it's been hard.

But losing the friendship's

been the worst.

And I could really use a

friend up there right now.

Oh, buddy.

Sometimes I just wanna

check in with him, you know.

Yeah.

Hear about

what he's doing.

Okay, come here.

Stand here.

No reason to be

nervous, okay?

We're gonna do something

very, very simple.

It's not even sexual,

okay? I just want you to

do a little

exercise with me.

Huh?

We're just doing some Tai

Chi, that's all this is.

Is this weird?

Yeah, this is weird.

Well, that's on you,

my friend.

Okay. Now, we're just gonna

make a little adjustment.

I just want you to turn

your hands inward, like that.

Huh? Now look

what happened!

There it is!

What's all this, now?

Oh, my gosh, we're having

sex with a beautiful woman.

Wow, so beautiful. Yeah,

man, just go with that.

Now just

elaborate on that.

You can be

the best sex guy ever,

your dick can be 30 feet

Daredevil, man.

Dude, go with that!

Aah! Aah!

Wet her whistle, man.

Jingle her bells.

My dick is so big!

This is her face, that's

her ass, go. You see that?

Oh, it's good, it's good,

you're really good.

Help, get into it, though,

like, join me.

'Cause that's her ass and this is

her... That's okay, you do this one.

I'll take the next one,

you do this one. Ooh!

Come on.

Yeah, there it is.

That was her head, I think.

No, I've got her head.

You're going in the ass. Okay.

Look. Let's try

something over here.

Okay.

Oh! You are so

f***ing pretty, Cathy!

What? No!

Yeah!

I'm serious, dude.

This is gonna sell like crazy

once I get it on my site.

Of course it will!

It's gorgeous!

Oh.

Who's that?

Just some loser

who won't leave me alone.

All right.

Work it, b*tch!

But it's true, though,

in Africa they...

There's many cultures,

there's a bunch of countries...

Hey. Hey, guys?

Why don't we just, like,

hit up a bunch

of different bars?

You know, just stop at a bunch

of places, get shots at each one,

I'll buy shots.

Stan, I understand if you want

to sit out on the bench tonight.

I get that you have body-shame

issues, you've got fat knees,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes