Love, Simon Page #2

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There's a whole world

to look at!

You can look people

in the eyes!

(groans)

Gah! Yeah.

Stop with the selfies.

You're not all that.

- I'll see you guys at lunch.

- Yeah.

Wow! Simonay.

Look at those new kicks,

my brother.

Where'd you get those? Where

could I get a pair of those?

- I forget. Sorry.

- You forget?

Come on, you gotta let me

know the brand!

I want to be sneaker brothers.

Oh, I see more phones!

Who took your phones now?

Me! Me! Me took your phones now!

You can get 'em at my office!

I can't believe we have to be

off book, in like, two weeks.

Seriously, Sally Bowles

never shuts the eff up.

SIMON:
Don't you wish

you were talentless like me?

Here. Let me show you

a thing or two.

SIMON:
Because then you could

just be living the easy life

as company member

number eight.

(Abby laughs)

Well, well, well...

If it isn't my fellow thespians.

Hey, Martin.

Hey, Spier. Hey, Abby.

Hi.

Excited to rehearse

with you later.

Hey, uh, so, fun fact.

You know that Cabaret

was actually based off a play

called I Am Camera?

Then I Am a Camera

was based off

this novel called

Goodbye to Berlin.

And Goodbye to Berlin

was actually based off

Christopher Isherwood's

- early years in Berlin.

- (bell rings)

Wow. That's awesome.

I have homeroom.

Yeah. All right.

Well, I think she

found that interesting.

Bye, Martin.

Bye, big boy.

(chuckles)

Suraj! Now.

Come on. You know the drill.

EMILY:
I've had an inspiration.

How about The Affair?

No. No. We cannot watch

The Affair as a family.

- Why not?

- Because it's all about sex.

Oh, well, God forbid we should

watch people make love.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

You guys are so repressed.

Don't therapize us, okay?

We are not your patients.

- We're your family.

- EMILY:
That's true.

If you were my patients, you'd

be much more well-adjusted.

- Oh. Nice therapy burn, baby.

- Thank you.

- She got you.

- You know what?

We didn't see last week's

episode of The Bachelor.

Yeah, how did that guy

even become the bachelor?

Why?

Well, he's clearly gay.

- NORA:
No, he's not.

- Really?

- He's handsome.

- That date,

where he took the girl to

the "make your

own perfume" place?

Dad! The producers

plan those dates.

He is so fruity.

He's so fruity.

He's a one-man pride parade.

Are you kidding me?

- He has more chemistry

- Just stop it.

with Chris Harrison,

than any of those girls.

(whispers) After this, I gotta

show you something.

Okay?

Let's watch The Americans.

EMILY:
Every single episode,

you here next to me.

So your mother decided

that we should make

each other anniversary

presents this year.

You know, so they came

from the heart, or some crap.

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