Love, Wedding, Marriage Page #2

Don't tell her.

It'll break her heart.

- I want a divorce.

- What?

- Both of you...

everyone, take a seat.

Ooh, everybody calm down

and take a breath.

Okay.

Betty, what triggered

this decision?

- Your sack-of-sh*t father

cheated on me.

- We were separated.

We were separated at the time.

- Yeah, but he still managed

to knock me up.

Did we conceive Shelby

before or after your affair?

- Oh, my God.

Dad, explain.

- You were about three years old

when we were relocated to London

for my job,

and I was working overtime.

It was hardly a recipe

for a happy marriage,

so we decided to separate...

- Which for your father

meant doing it

with the first woman

he could find...

a minor detail he waited

25 years to tell me.

- Okay, I hear you.

I understand.

You feel betrayed,

and I'm not minimizing

what happened 25 years ago,

but is it really worth

throwing away

a long and happy marriage?

- What makes you think

that I've been happy?

- Well, of course we're happy.

- Well, of course you're happy.

I've spent the best part

of my life

catering to your adulterous ass.

Now it's my turn.

I want to feel sexy.

I want to...

I want to have adventures.

- Okay.

Okay, Betty.

We're making some progress.

I want you both

to close your eyes,

take a deep breath,

and let's try and reconnect

with some of those feelings

you had

when you first decided

to get married.

- Ava, this Berkeley bullshit

isn't gonna work on me.

- Mom!

- Look, I'm sorry, darling,

but I'm not gonna take

marital advice

from my 28-year-old

newlywed daughter.

- I'm a professional.

- And you're

a hopeless romantic.

You've been watching

Gone With The Wind

every Thanksgiving

for the last 25 years.

- It's a very long weekend.

- And I would give it up, honey.

Rhett Butler's

never gonna stick around.

- But they were

at cross-purposes.

- You know, the point is that

I am the voice of experience.

I have done 30 years

of hard marriage,

30 years of lies

and deceit,

and in all that time,

you've never once

put the toilet roll

back on the dispenser.

- And after 30 years, you'd

think she'd give it up, huh?

- Bradley, you can have

that bathroom all to yourself,

because I am moving in

with Shelby.

- Ava, you can't let Mom

move in with me.

- Okay, Mom, let's pause

and assess the situation.

We don't have to make

any permanent decisions today.

- Good-bye, Bradley.

Have a nice life.

- I refuse to live with Mom,

Ava.

- Okay, we have much bigger

problems here, Shelby.

- Yeah, like a 30th anniversary

party for a divorced couple.

[Gentle instrumental music]

[door clicks open]

- Hey, babe.

It's 6:
00.

Time for our date.

I promise I'll hook up the dryer

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes