Louis C.K. - Live at the Beacon Theater
- Year:
- 2011
- 63 min
- 183 Views
I've never seen a soldier
get on a plane--
"Hey, I'm in the Army."
"F*ck you. I have a gun."
They're always, "Oh, yes sir.
Thank you very much ma'am."
It's like having an extra flight attendant.
They help everybody put their shit up.
They're awesome.
And every time that I see a
soldier on a plane, I always think,
You know what,
I should give him my seat.
It would be the right thing to do.
It would be easy to do and it
would mean a lot to him.
I could go up to him, "Hey, Son."
I get to call him, "Son."
"Hey, son, go ahead
and take my seat."
Because I'm in first class, why,
for being a professional asshole.
I'm in first class because I talk
about babies with big dicks.
That's what got me my seat.
This guy is giving his life
for the country, he thinks,
and so he has to sit--
But that's good enough.
That's good enough,
the fact that he thinks it.
I'm serious.
He's fucking told by everybody
in his life system
that that's a great thing
to do and he's doing it.
And it's scary but he's doing it.
And he's sitting in this shitty seat
I never have.
Let me make that clear.
I've never done it once.
I've had so many opportunities.
I never even really,
seriously came close.
And here's the worst part.
I still just enjoy the fantasy
for myself to enjoy.
I was actually proud of myself
I was proud.
Ah, I am such a sweet man.
That is so nice of me
to think of that and then
totally never do it.
just to the people--
Just turn a good face to the
people that you see in life.
I don't do that either
because when I get in the
elevator in my building--
That's my first contact
being home and just being
disgusting for hours.
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Citation
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"Louis C.K. - Live at the Beacon Theater" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 25 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/louis_c.k._-_live_at_the_beacon_theater_12883>.
