Louis C.K. : Oh My God

Synopsis: In February, 2013, Louis brings his impish nihilism to Phoenix, Arizona. He talks about an old lady and her pet, living in Manhattan, experiencing his body's aging (he's 45), men's fascination with women's breasts, the beauty of living outside the food chain, his quickness to anger while driving, and murder. It's theater in the round, so he's in constant motion, a grin nearly always on his face.
Director(s): Louis C.K.
Actors: Louis C.K.
  Won 1 Primetime Emmy. Another 1 win & 6 nominations.
58 min

We took her to the aquarium.

I took both my kids

to the aquarium in boston,

And we were looking

at this seal, or sea lion.

I don't know which one.

I don't care.

I don't think they need

to be separate things.

I really don't.

They don't care,

and we don't care.

There's, like, three scientists

Who give a shit

what we call all those things.

The scientists could

go on tv tomorrow

And say, "ok, everybody.

"from now on, seals

and sea lions and walruses,

And--you know what?--Penguins

are all seals now,"

And we would all be like,

"yeah, all right. Fine. Yes.

Whatever, man."

Anyway, so we're looking

at this seal/sea lion thing,

And he's looking back at us

through the plexiglas,

And he's going--

They're really disgusting

in person.

Most animals are

when you really see them.

You ever go to a farm?

You think you're gonna see

little, white sheep

Going, "baa," but they're

all fat and shit-colored,

And they're like--


That thing is awful.

Anyway, seals don't go--

They go--

My daughter's like,

"what is he saying?"

I don't know!

"I'm a slave!

Kill me!"

Must be awful to be

other kinds of stuff,

You know?

I'm glad I'm this.

This is a pretty good deal when

you consider the alternatives.

Anything else, any other kind of

thing, you're in the food chain.

You're in the food--

we are out of the food chain.

I don't know if we

fully appreciate the fact

That we got

out of the food chain.

That is a massive upgrade

Because for every other

living thing,

Life ends by being eaten.

That's how all life ends, is--

Every single life

except human life,

Every life ends like this.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

We're the only ones that get

to just die old in a bed,

Just "I love you. Bye."

I mean, imagine if we were

still in the food chain

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Louis C.K.

Louis A. Székely (born September 12, 1967), better known by his stage name Louis C.K. (), is a Mexican American stand-up comedian, writer, actor, and filmmaker. He is known for his use of observational, self-deprecating, dark, and shock humor. In 2012, C.K. won a Peabody Award and has received six Primetime Emmy Awards, as well as numerous awards for The Chris Rock Show, Louie, and his stand-up specials Live at the Beacon Theater (2011) and Oh My God (2013). He has won the Grammy Award for Best Comedy Album twice. Rolling Stone ranked C.K.'s stand-up special Shameless number three on their "Divine Comedy: 25 Best Stand-Up Specials and Movies of All Time" list and ranked him fourth on its 2017 list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time.C.K. began his career in the 1990s writing for comedians including David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Dana Carvey, Chris Rock, and also for other comedy shows. Also in this period, he was directing surreal short films and went on to direct two features—Tomorrow Night (1998) and Pootie Tang (2001). In 2001, C.K. released his debut comedy album, Live in Houston directly through his website and became among the first performers to offer direct-to-fan sales of tickets to his stand-up shows, as well as DRM-free video concert downloads, via his website. He has released nine comedy albums, often directing and editing his specials as well. He had supporting acting roles in the films The Invention of Lying (2009), American Hustle, Blue Jasmine (both 2013), and Trumbo (2015). C.K. created, directed, executive produced, starred in, wrote, and was the primary editor of, Louie, an acclaimed semi-autobiographical comedy-drama series aired from 2010 to 2015 on FX. In 2016, C.K. created and starred in his self-funded web series Horace and Pete. He also co-created the shows Baskets and Better Things for FX and voiced Max the dog in the animated film The Secret Life of Pets in the same year. His 2017 film, I Love You, Daddy, was pulled from distribution prior to its scheduled release date after multiple women accused him of sexual misconduct which he then admitted to. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Louis C.K. : Oh My God" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 3 Apr. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/louis_c.k._%3A_oh_my_god_12885>.

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