Louis C.K.: Hilarious Page #2
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 2010
- 82 min
- 1,015 Views
That happens now.
That's no good for single.
You got to be optimistic
To be single.
Stupid.
You have to be stupid.
That's what optimistic means,
You know?
It means stupid.
An optimist
Is somebody who goes,
"Hey, maybe something
Nice will happen."
Why the f*** would anything nice
Ever happen?
What are you, stupid?
But that's the attitude
You have to be to be single.
You have to look at somebody
And go, "ooh, maybe..."
I don't look at it that way,
Even when i see somebody
I'm attracted to.
I was at a gym the other day.
Why? Why?
I'm at a gym.
I'm just wearing shorts.
That's all i'm doing there.
Just standing there.
And i look over,
And there's a girl on the--
You know, with a ponytail,
And she's on this thing--
And i'm looking at her,
And i'm like,
"Oh, she's awesome.
Sh*t."
But then i start thinking,
Wait a minute.
I'm single. I'm on the market.
I have value.
I could say something
To her.
I could just walk up
And say something.
And i'm trying to think--
"What am i gonna say?"
What does--what do i look like
To somebody like that?
And then i realize
It's been way too long.
I've just been standing there,
Staring at her.
[Grunts]
I want her!
I have no identity
In the single world.
I can't--i look at them,
I don't know what they're doing.
Ito Girls Gone Wild
The other day.
Just to re-enter
The community that way.
Just to feel part of it.
And i bought it.
Not the commercial
On Comedy Central.
I paid money like a grown-up.
I put my credit card down
And waited for it
To come to my house.
I'm an adult.
Iso i'm trying to jerk off
To Girls Gone Wild.
I can't do it,
'Cause i'm a father.
I'm too old.
I'm just getting mad
At everybody in the video.
I'm like, "you f***ing
Irresponsible b*tches.
Go back to school.
What are you doing down there?"
"There's two wars
And a depression.
"Put your--get the oil
off your tits and study,
For f***'s sake."
I just don't look at a woman
As a pair of tits anymore,
And i wish i did,
'Cause i could get laid easier,
'Cause that's what it takes.
Just to go--
[Grunting]
But i can't now.
Like, i went to a club.
I went to a club,
You know, like, a...
[Imitates thumping club music]
Like, a club.
And i'm standing there
Looking at all the people,
And there's the women--
The hot chicks.
The hot girl at the bar.
You know when you see them,
That's just--she's a hot girl
At the bar.
She's got the--
Got the shirt and the skirt,
And the boots.
Those three lines.
It's, like, some
Perfect ratio that they hit
And you--
And they're all
Standing there like that.
And i used to look
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Louis C.K.: Hilarious" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/louis_c.k.:_hilarious_12886>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In