Louis C.K.: Shameless Page #2

Synopsis: Comedy and television star Louis C.K. returns to HBO for an hour of no-holds-barred, adults-only stand-up comedy! Taped before a live audience at the Henry Fonda Theater in Los Angeles, the performance finds Louis taking aim at fat and skinny people, spending money, bumper stickers, Californians, strangers and friends, sex and marriage, lying to your spouse, losing your privacy, and the new favorite pastime for fathers.
Director(s): Steven J. Santos
Actors: Louis C.K.
 
IMDB:
8.7
TV-MA
Year:
2007
56 min
549 Views


FOR A TIME MACHINE,

I WOULD DO THAT.

BUT I WOULD'VE

GONE BACK WITH HIM

BUT I WOULDN' HAVE KILLED HITLER.

I WOULD'VE RAPED HIM.

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

BECAUSE I THINK THA WOULD'VE BEEN ENOUGH,

I THINK THAT WOULD'VE STOPPED

HIM FROM DOING ALL THAT SH*T.

IF HE HAD BEEN RAPED BY ME,

HE NEVER WOULD'VE PULLED

ANY OF THAT STUFF, MAN.

"SHOULD WE INVADE POLAND?"

"NO, I'LL JUST TAKE A SHOWER,

I DON'T FEEL GOOD."

- LOW SELF-ESTEEM,

AND, YOU KNOW...

- I'M NOT CONDONING RAPE,

OBVIOUSLY,

YOU SHOULD NEVER RAPE ANYONE.

UM, UNLESS YOU HAVE A REASON,

LIKE YOU WANT TO

F*** SOMEBODY AND

THEY WON'T LET YOU,

IN WHICH CASE, UH...

- WHAT OTHER

OPTION DO YOU HAVE?

HOW ELSE ARE YOU

SUPPOSED TO HAVE AN ORGASM

IN THEIR BODY:

IF YOU DON'T RAPE THEM?

LIKE, WHAT THE F***?

HA HA HA. OK.

THAT'S F***ED UP.

SO, HERE'S A WEIRD THING

THAT HAPPENED TO ME.

I HAVE THIS, UH,

I HAVE THIS T-SHIRT,

AND IT SAYS:

"AWESOME POSSUM" ON IT.

AND IT'S GOT A PICTURE

OF A POSSUM.

I KNOW IT'S STUPID, BUT A FRIEND

OF MINE GAVE IT TO ME-

F*** YOU, I BOUGHT IT.

I THOUGHT IT WAS COOL.

BUT, UH, I-

I'D NEVER SEEN ANYBODY

WITH THAT SAME SHIRT BEFORE,

WITH THE AWESOME POSSUM SHIRT,

AND I WAS IN THIS COFFEE PLACE

IN L.A., YOU KNOW,

LIKE A COFFEE-NOT LIKE, UH,

LIKE STARBUCKS,

LIKE AN INDIE COFFEE PLACE WHERE

ALL THE COOL PEOPLE GO,

AND THEY'RE LIKE, OOH-

EH-HEH-EH-HEH...

- THEY GOT THEIR, LIKE,

SNOW HATS IN THE F***ING SUMMER

AND ALL THAT SH*T, YOU KNOW,

THOSE COOL PEOPLE.

HUH, UH, AND THEIR IPODs.

AND THEY SAY COOL THINGS LIKE,

"YEAH, ME, TOO."

OR WHATEVER, YOU KNOW.

- AND I JUST STAND IN THE

DOORWAY AND F***ING HATE THEM.

I DON'T KNOW WHY

I GO TO THE PLACE,

I THINK IT'S

'CAUSE I HATE THEM.

I JUST HATE-

THERE'S A CERTAIN PART OF

THE CULTURE I JUST HATE.

'CAUSE I GREW UP IN BOSTON,

AND IN BOSTON,

PEOPLE JUST BEA THE SH*T OUT OF EACH OTHER.

FOR NO REASON.

THEY JUST BEAT THE SHI OUT OF EACH OTHER.

BUT I KIND OF THINK

YOU NEED THAT,

YOU KNOW, TO KEEP

QUALITY CONTROL.

'CAUSE IN PLACES WHERE

THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN,

PEOPLE ARE JUSTOO FREE,

AND F***IN'- THEY'RE

JUST A BUMMER, YOU KNOW?

LIKE I WAS ONCE ON VENICE BEACH

AND I'M JOGGING,

AND THERE'S THIS GUY

ROLLERBLADING TOWARDS ME.

AND HE'S-HE'S GO ROLLERBLADES ON,

AND JUST A THONG,

JUST A F***ING THONG,

THAT'S JUST GRABBING

THIS DICK AND BALLS

AND JUST FIGHTING WITH IT,

GOING, "AH, STAY IN THERE!"

- AND THEN HE'S JUST TOTAL

NAKED OTHERWISE,

AND HE'S GOT THIS

KENNY "G" HAIR,

AND HE'S JUS ROLLERBLADING, LIKE-

"I'M FREE!"

- AND I ACTUALLY

HAD TO STOP JOGGING,

'CAUSE I NEEDEMY WHOLE BODY

TO F***ING HATE THIS GUY WITH.

I HAD TO JUST...

- STAND THERE GOING,

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Louis C.K.

Louis A. Székely (born September 12, 1967), better known by his stage name Louis C.K. (), is a Mexican American stand-up comedian, writer, actor, and filmmaker. He is known for his use of observational, self-deprecating, dark, and shock humor. In 2012, C.K. won a Peabody Award and has received six Primetime Emmy Awards, as well as numerous awards for The Chris Rock Show, Louie, and his stand-up specials Live at the Beacon Theater (2011) and Oh My God (2013). He has won the Grammy Award for Best Comedy Album twice. Rolling Stone ranked C.K.'s stand-up special Shameless number three on their "Divine Comedy: 25 Best Stand-Up Specials and Movies of All Time" list and ranked him fourth on its 2017 list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time.C.K. began his career in the 1990s writing for comedians including David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Dana Carvey, Chris Rock, and also for other comedy shows. Also in this period, he was directing surreal short films and went on to direct two features—Tomorrow Night (1998) and Pootie Tang (2001). In 2001, C.K. released his debut comedy album, Live in Houston directly through his website and became among the first performers to offer direct-to-fan sales of tickets to his stand-up shows, as well as DRM-free video concert downloads, via his website. He has released nine comedy albums, often directing and editing his specials as well. He had supporting acting roles in the films The Invention of Lying (2009), American Hustle, Blue Jasmine (both 2013), and Trumbo (2015). C.K. created, directed, executive produced, starred in, wrote, and was the primary editor of, Louie, an acclaimed semi-autobiographical comedy-drama series aired from 2010 to 2015 on FX. In 2016, C.K. created and starred in his self-funded web series Horace and Pete. He also co-created the shows Baskets and Better Things for FX and voiced Max the dog in the animated film The Secret Life of Pets in the same year. His 2017 film, I Love You, Daddy, was pulled from distribution prior to its scheduled release date after multiple women accused him of sexual misconduct which he then admitted to. more…

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