Louis C.K.: Live at the Comedy Store Page #3

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And I realize, oh,

she's, like, a student,

like, a singing music student,

and she's doing her vocal

exercises on the subway.

You know what?

It wasn't charming or nice.

It was arrogant and rude,

'cause she just had

this look like, it's-

I'm so cool, 'cause I'm studying

music in New York City

and I just do my thing

right on the subway every day.

La-la la-la-la la-la, everybody!

La-la la-la-la la-la,

tired nurse

who just did a 14-hour shift!

We live in an interesting time,

you know.

'Cause you can be

on an airplane,

you're like one

of 200 passengers.

You're on a flight

30,000 feet in the air,

and in the middle of the flight

if you just decide to do this,

you're sitting in your seat

and you just start going

like this, you go...

Maaah!

Maaah! Mahh!

If you do that and

don't stop doing it,

they will land the plane.

You can will a plane

to the ground

without a weapon or a threat.

You don't even

have to do that much,

you can just sit there and

just start going, "Down!

Down!"

Seriously, if you were

on a plane

and you just didn't

stop saying "down."

"Down!

Down!"

"Sir, is there a problem?"

"Down!

Down!"

Fighter jets will appear-

I mean, you're going

to the nearest airport.

And then I guess

you're in trouble, but...

What? They can't put you,

like, in prison

because you said

"down" several times.

They, like, bother you.

"Why'd you do it?

Are you a terrorist?

Why'd you do it?"

"I just-I just didn't want

to be up anymore.

"I just didn't like it.

"I mean, I just said the word

of the-where I wanted to be.

"You didn't have to do it.

It was just a suggestion,

Jesus Christ."

I was on a plane once and there

was two babies on the plane.

And other people,

it wasn't just...

It wasn't just me

and two babies.

That would be weird.

You get on a plane,

there's just two babies.

Come on, we're leaving soon.

He's the pilot baby.

I'm the other baby.

No, that's all right,

I'm not gonna...

You babies have a good flight,

but I'm gonna find

another way to get there.

Yeah, I don't like the way

this was starting.

Anyway, I was on a plane

and there was these two babies

and they were crying

the whole time,

crying the whole flight,

and that happens a lot.

I don't think they knew each

other, they were just crying.

I've seen this

on so many flights,

I started to wonder, is there

a reason for this?

Is there, like,

an actual reason why babies-

So I looked it up. Turns out,

there's an actual reason

why babies cry on airplanes,

and it's because they're upset

that gay people

are getting married.

Yeah.

They're, like, really upset.

Like, inconsolably upset.

Honey, it's-

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