Lost for Life Page #2

it but I just... he did

not seem capable of

something like this, and it

completely caught me off guard.

I was just in... I don't know;

I just couldn't believe it.

There should be no law against

killing people. I know it's a

wrong thing but...

Hell.

You restrict somebody from it,

they're going to want it more.

We found our victim and, sad

as it may be, she's our friend.

But you know what?

We all have to make sacrifices.

Our first victim is

going to be Cassie Stoddart.

She's going to be alone

in a big, dark house out

in the middle of nowhere.

How perfect can you get?

Holy sh*t, dude.

- I'm horny just thinking about it.

- Hell yeah.

I don't know if either

of us would have

done it if we were alone.

We fed off each other, I guess,

and it was a formula for

disaster in the end.

The time is 9:
50,

September 22nd, 2006.

We know there are lots

of doors and there are

lots of places to hide. I

unlocked the back doors.

It's all unlocked.

Now we just got to wait.

I was actually the individual

who snuck downstairs and

locked the basement door.

And it's that one choice where

I was just kind of going along

with it. I really didn't stop

and say, "Why am I doing this?"

I just did it, and that one thing

that I did started this whole

thing, and that's something

that is hard to deal with

because all I had to do

was just not do that and this

may have never happened.

Cassie was there alone, and we

both had masks on.

He walks up and tells me,

"You do something scary

that's going to freak her out."

And I'm like, "Okay."

So I grab a door and I open it

and I slam it. And then

we just kind of go into the

room and the crime happens,

and we stabbed her.

I really don't have a lot of

vivid memories of

the actual incident.

I have what they call...

flash bulb images of that.

She's breathing hard and

her eyes are open,

and she's looking off someplace

else and, uh...

And then I...

I remember...

so many, like...

She wasn't screaming but in

my head I could hear that.

And I know she screamed before

it happened to her, and uh...

but in my memories I

have, she's screaming.

Okay.

When it did happen,

I was just too shocked

to do anything and I just ran

from it and hid from it

and I made a lot of mistakes.

But...

they were, I don't know.

I just think, I look at myself

now and I'm 21 and I think

how stupid I was at 16, and I

just think how I feel like I'm

paying for somebody else's

mistakes at this point.

When I was 13 years old,

I had a friend who was over, he

was hanging out at the house and

my mom just went and left on me.

He said, "Man, you mom's really

a b*tch. You should kill her."

And I didn't really take it

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