Little Evil Page #2

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Wow. That's, uh... ambitious.

I smoked it all in, like, three weeks,

too, man.

I hear you joined the ranks. [SNIFFLES]

The, um... I'm sorry?

Yeah, you're a stepdad now, man.

Sucks, bro. Welcome to the club.

Oh, you're a step...

- Dad.

- Dad?

- Yeah, man.

- Right.

I'm in therapy, too. Big time.

You could come if you want.

It's a group thing.

- It's chill.

- Come with you to...

- your therapy?

- Therapy. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

No, I really don't want to.

Okay, man. Suit yourself.

Whatever feels good.

What you workin' on?

- Oh, nothin'.

- Oh, you got a mark?

Well, it's not a mark exactly.

It's a client.

Somebody wants to buy

that freaky old nunnery, man?

No way!

You think they're gonna make it

into a sex dungeon or something?

- A sex dungeon?

- Mm-hmm.

- [PHONE RINGS]

- [CHUCKLES]

- This is Gary.

- Give it to me, you dirty little nun.

- Wow, that was fast.

- Give it to me, you dirty little nun.

- Yeah, it's still available. Today?

- What's up, man?

- Pay that rent!

- That's great.

- I will see you there. Thanks.

- Pay that rent! Pay it!

- [CAR BEEPS]

- Sorry I'm late.

I'm Gary Bloom.

You are forgiven. I'm Reverend JD Gospel.

Yeah, from, uh, from TV.

I just saw you this morning.

Oh, yes.

The press does love their doom and gloom.

[LAUGHS] Good point.

Shall we have a look inside?

Please.

One sec here.

[DOOR OPENS]

There's plenty of room.

Do you have a large family, Mr. Gospel?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Well, uh, they kick off their shoes here,

and I'm sure they'll enjoy

the fifteen extra rooms.

There's a chapel.

There's a basement that can be turned

into a game room or a man-cave.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

I just love the smell

of an old-fashioned nunnery. Don't you?

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Yeah.

May I see the chapel?

Sure. Yeah. Right this way.

Yeah, I mean, as you can see,

it's a bit of a fixer-upper,

but you know, with the right touch...

Oh...

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

[MOANING]

Oh...

What is your best offer?

[CLICKS TEETH] The best offer?

Mm-hmm.

Just, you know... [STAMMERS]

There's another couple

who's very interested.

You're kidding me? Who?

This very wealthy couple.

Just, like, dot-com money.

Always wanted to retire in a nunnery.

Same old story.

- I shouldn't even be showing it to you.

- I'll beat their price.

Whatever they're offering,

I'll offer more.

Really?

The end is coming, Gary.

Blood will rain,

and crows will darken the sky,

the oceans will boil over.

Money truly is no object.

Well, that's fantastic.

I mean, not the blood boiling

and the sky and stuff,

- but that you want to buy it.

- [PHONE RINGING]

That's... I'm sorry. Uh, just one second.

Hey, hon.

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