Little Bitches Page #2

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Anyway, how's that application

to Cornell coming?

Well, my parents love it,

but they love everything I do.

I'm gonna stop you right there.

Um, when are you gonna

cut the bullshit?

Sorry?

The bullshit, honey.

I'm a college counselor, okay?

A teacher of tomorrow?

Oh, that's intense.

You bet your puffy, little

nipples it's intense, okay?

Puffy, that is totally

what they are.

I have your file right here.

Know what's in there?

Phenomenal GPA.

Test scores through the roof.

You're a concert-level cellist.

And, yet, what did you write

your personal statement about?

On a pledge that me, Marisa,

and Kelly made freshman year.

Oh, right. That hair brained

banana-blow-job pact.

"Look at us.

We made a pact

to open our

college letters together.

What's gonna happen?

Oh, boy.

Even though we got

the letters months ago,

and our poor parents

need to put deposits down

to hold our spots."

It's selfish.

It's a personal statement.

Personal, okay? You wrote about

two other people.

It's important to me.

It's ridiculous.

You should be ashamed.

Congratulations!

Oh, my god.

Wow, that's a lot of balloons,

mom. Thank you.

I know. I know.

Nobody is surprised.

Your dad is making pancakes with

little Stanford S's on them.

He's hungry

after the night we had.

Oh, my god.

That's a good one.

Right?

That's a good one, mom.

You don't have to

give me a high-five.

I'm gonna...

No. Oh, okay.

Why don't we have

your first breakfast

as a Stanford girl?

Oh, don't cry.

"Stanford girl"?

Really,

we're gonna call me that?

We're gonna call you

"Stanford girl."

Don't cry. You can't

I don't wanna call you

your first name.

I wanna call you "Stanford

girl," oh, my goodness.

- I love you so much. I can't...

- I love you too.

Congratulations, seniors.

We've made it through

another school year.

Just remember that

today is your last day

to put your pictures up

on the college board map.

That's where we can see

where you're all going,

so we can all stay in touch.

On behalf of the entire

faculty, I just wanna say

how proud and honored I am

to have taught all of you,

and see you blossom into

the adults that I know you are.

I wanna get your p*ssy filled.

Okay.

Yeah.

You have so many

questions about sex.

We should get you some answers.

So?

Phil. Philly Cheesesteak!

- Hey.

- Hey.

Legland.

Hey.

What's good with you girls?

Hey.

Y'all chilling?

Chill... yeah. Just hanging out

and talking, you know?

I feel you.

I feel you.

Yo, y'all hip

to this new thug tape?

Yo, gangster sh*t.

Doesn't come out for a minute.

I got it two weeks early.

So you're, like,

ahead of the curve.

I mean, it's like, you know,

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