Life as We Know It Page #2

Doggies have pups

Horses have pretty foals

And sheep have lambs

Cows have calves

And l bet you didn't know

That elephants have calves too

Lions and leopards have cubs

Which is the proper thing for them to do

[COOING]

PETER:
Dhe's gonna bIow if you keep

doing that. Dhe's in a puking phase.

MEDDER:

No. she Ioves it.

Dhe Ioves it. don't you. Doph?

You're the onIy girI I'II ever shave for.

You know that?

Dpeaking of. why didn't Liz come?

I thought you were getting serious.

No. we ended that a few weeks ago.

It wasn't working out.

PETER:
What happened?

-I don't know.

I just didn't see us

on that Iong march towards death together.

-Oh. my bad. I thought you Iiked this girI.

-That was you. I just thought she was hot.

Honey. don't forget

to tip the castIe guys.

[TEENAGERD DPEAKING INDIDTINCTLY]

They show up Iate

and made me do the work.

-But. sure. Iet's tip the castIe guys.

TEENAGER:
Grasshopper.

Do I started taking Dophie

to this new famiIy practice.

HOLLY:

Mm-hm.

There's this doctor there. He's so cute.

I may have finaIIy repIaced

my Anderson Cooper crush.

-Anyway. I noticed no ring...

-Dcoot.

...so I started a conversation

with his nurse.

-No.

-I pretended to Iike her naiIs.

-No. We agreed to a moratorium on setups.

-How do you know you won't Iike him?

You have the worst

setup track record ever.

-Like who?

-The shopIifter. AduIt-braces guy.

UnbeIievabIe.

You're stiII hoIding that over me.

I'm not even gonna

get into the Messer DebacIe of '07.

WeII. that was Peter.

I hardIy even knew him then.

You knew he caIIed himseIf Messer.

And you're my best friend.

You can't be Iike those women

who judge me because I don't wear a ring.

I'm not.

In the meantime.

you keep having gorgeous babies...

...and I wiII keep spoiIing them with this.

DeriousIy.

that's better than my wedding cake.

-I made your wedding cake.

-It was a IittIe dry.

[HOLLY DCOFFD]

Don't Iet any fat grown-ups in

whiIe the kids are inside.

[CHUCKLING]

Have you guys been smoking marijuana?

-That's iIIegaI.

-You're stoned.

What are you hoIding? Let me see it.

Come on. you want me to caII the cops?

PIease don't. My dad's a pastor.

[MEDDER CHUCKLED]

AII right. I'm taking this.

Next time. you are gonna be troubIe.

-Now get out of here.

-That's--

-Get out of here.

-Get out of here!

TEENAGER:
I bought that stuff.

-TotaIIy unacceptabIe.

DeIivery kids show up

stoned out of their minds.

-Who needs a deaIer?

-Aren't you respectabIe now?

ReIax. Once a year.

under the right circumstances...

...AIison and I Iike to reIive our youth.

-Once a year?

-Yeah--

-Yeah. right. Once a year.

-AII right. maybe twice a year.

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