Life's a Breeze Page #2

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Come on.

Ta-dah!

New shower curtains.

Handles in the bath.

- Oof!

- Oh, here.

We cleared out some of

the old furniture in my room.

Oh, some nice

improvements in there.

In case you ever wanted

to rent it out or whatever.

You planning on moving out?

No plan, no, but just in case.

Keep your eyes closed, okay.

Annie, you get the lights.

Straight across, okay.

Don't open your eyes, Mom,

wait for the big finale.

Wait... okay.

Ta-dah!

New curtains, new carpet.

Best of all, no more

smelly old mattress.

Brand-new bed,

lkea's finest,

memory foam, orthopedic.

Best night's kip ever.

We both got one.

Where's the old one?

Oh, yeah. We cleared out all

the crap from under the bed.

You can see right through

to the other side.

Have a look!

Much better feng shui!

Where's it gone?

Mom, you don't have

to worry about it,

- that's the point.

- Where is it?

Why do you want to know?

Because all my money was in it.

Are you sure?

Yes, Colm, I'm sure.

How much?

Nearly a million.

I tell you what, Mom,

you can still nail a punch line.

Yeah, me small wit.

A million bedbugs.

A million euros.

Ah, pull the other one,

would you?

How would you get

a million euro?

Selling off the garage

at the end of the garden,

rent from the basement flat,

my inheritance,

whatever your dad didn't drink,

savings from teaching

and my pension.

Not quite a million,

but fifty year's savings

adds up.

If you did have the money, Mom,

why didn't you put it

in the bank?

Have you not been listening

to the news?

It was safe here.

You could hold it in your hands.

I didn't know you idiots were going

to come along and throw it out.

You don't think

she's serious, do you?

She looked very serious to me.

It went out the front

with the rest, didn't it?

- Yeah. Did the charity take it?

- No.

How can you be so sure?

They don't take beds or bedding.

- So it's gone to the dump?

- Well, what did it look like?

- What color was it?

- What did it look like, Mom?

- It was blue.

- It was cream and blue...

with the letters A-Q-P

printed on it.

It went out

with everything else.

Who was the van driver?

Just a lad I know.

He drinks up in the hill.

- Ring him.

- I don't have his number.

Oh Jesus, Colm, you and your

bloody schemes.

I told you to organize

a professional waste service.

Wait a minute.

Whoever we gave it to would

have taken it away the same.

In fact, if they were professional,

it would already

be incinerated by now.

The guy I got to do it is

probably up in the pub

with everything still sitting

in the back of his van.

Where are we going?

Come on, come on.

Where are we going?

What about Nan?

- I'll take her.

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