Let There Be Light Page #3

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patrol,

and they shot a panzerfux though

the wall.

Well...

And what?

I was laying on the

couch,

and right before it happened I

felt a little jittery,

so I lay down on the floor.

When I got up again, the couch

was all torn.

In other words, you were

almost killed.

Is that it?

Right.

It must have gone right over my

head.

Do you feel conscious...

that is, are you aware of the

fact

that you are not the same boy

that you were

when you went over?

Do you feel changed?

Yes, sir.

In what way?

I'm more jumpy.

How about with people?

I used to...

I used to always like

to have fun.

I used to always be going

places.

I don't like to do nothing no

more.

How long were you overseas?

Were you in any combat at all?

Just the second month, sir.

I tried every way to

keep my mind occupied--

reading, going to the gymnasium,

getting...

going out with the fellows and

trying to become an extrovert,

trying to get out of myself.

But it seemed to Me that I got

worse and worse.

And after a while I developed...

after the fear of insanity,

I started developing fears,

different sorts.

Did you ever have similar

pains before you got...

Never in my life.

Have you ever been nervous

before in your life?

No, sir.

Never. I was a solid man.

Do some noises bother you

particularly?

I just

shake a little, but not bad.

Well, I guess I just

got tired of living.

You know, put it that way.

I have trouble

sleeping, yes.

Dreaming of combat, you know?

I just took off,

because I see

too many of my buddies gone, and

I figured the next one was me.

A man can just stand so much up

there, see?

Admission note.

Poole, P-O-O-L-E comma Walter L,

T5.

Transfer diagnosis.

Anxiety reaction, severe.

Active symptoms in remission.

On this, their first

night back in the States,

each man who is able may make a

long distance call without cost.

After months and years of

silence,

familiar voices are heard once

again.

Then each man makes for himself

a small home

which will be his for the eight

or ten weeks to come.

Now in the darkness of the ward

emerge the shapes born of

darkness,

the terror of things half

remembered.

Dreams of battle,

the torment of uncertainty and

fear and loneliness.

The day begins with an early

morning ward inspection.

The medical officer in charge

checks the condition of every

man.

Modern psychiatry makes no sharp

division

between the mind and the body.

Physical ills often have psychic

causes,

just as emotional ills may have

a physical basis.

Possibilities of organic

disturbance in the brain

are investigated by means of the

electroencephalograph.

The Rorschach Test.

The things that the patient's

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