Les Aventures de Rabbi Jacob (The Mad Adventures of Rabbi Jacob)

Synopsis: The Mad Adventures of Rabbi Jacob (French: Les Aventures de Rabbi Jacob) is a 1973 French-Italian comedy film directed by Gérard Oury, starring Louis de Funès and Claude Giraud.
Genre: Comedy, Family
Year:
1973
823 Views


Boys, the rabbi leaves.|Lets say goodbye.

Shalom, friends.

Have a safe trip.

My man has been in Paris|for the last 30 years.

Pay attention to him.|- Naturally.

I have something for you they have|never heard of in Paris.

Cheesecake.

Give it to David for his bar mitzvah.

Hey, I dont have all day.|lets go?

Come with me to the airport,|all of you.

This is a taxi, no synagogue.|Ok, move over.

Jacob, give our nephew Salomon a big kiss.|And Esther also and Tzip and Moishe.

Ok all the Schmoll family.

And bring me a bottle of|Reviens-parfum, please.

Ok, I will return.

I love to see my Normandi

It does not go like that.|It is French... France...

I love to see my Normandi Its the|country where I saw the light of day

What is going on?|Hurry, driver.

Hey, what do you want?|Miracles?

Dont worry, rabbi,|well catch that plane.

You see my boy? That is a miracle.

Isn't it better that I drive, Mr?

- Mr, look ahead.|- What does that idiot do there?

An Englishman of course.|I dont like Englishmen. Do you?

- No.

Now look.|A Swiss and a German.

It seems|as if we are abroad.

Now we are caught behind a Belgian.

What is wrong with the Belgians?

They pollute our air|with their exhaust gases.

I will pass him.

Now look beside us.

He sits quietly and smokes.|That is not a Frenchman.

Cant you go behind the line?|Imbecile, cheater...

...stupid...|- You hear that, a real Frenchman.

You wont talk huh?

Whats the hurry?

- What is going on?|- A wedding.

- My daughter is also getting|married tomorrow. Let me pass.

Have you seen that? She is black.

- She is black and he is white.|- Yes, and?

White and black...

- Are you coming or not?|- Im coming.

- Let me through! My|daughter is getting married.

- Thats your daughter?|Congratulations.

My daughter is not black.

Mr...

Did you see that? Nowadays black|people ride white Rolls Royces.

- Nice for you that your daughter|isnt getting married to a black man.

What do you mean?

- Because you are rather racist.|- Racist? I?

Fortunately Antoinette marries|a neat white French man.

- He is as a matter of fact quite pale.|- And he has a speaks funny.

But he is rich, just like I am.|And catholic, such as everyone.

Not everyone. I am Jewish.

You are Jewish? Are you Jewish?

And my uncle Jacob from New York is a rabbi.

- But he is no Jew.|- Yes.

- But not your entire family?|- Yes.

Well, nevertheless, you can remain.

- That will be my wife.|- We are late. What now?

Germaine...|Let me explain.

Watch your mouth, Victor.|You are a hypocritical liar.

And watch your mouth too. If you want a|wedding tomorrow you must be nice.

Your crown.|I'm telling you!

- She is jealous again.|- Logically, you are good looking.

Just a moment. Wait now.

Pay attention to the road.

Germaine, did you know|that Salomon were a Jew?

No, and?

There he is.

Waiter?

A water with mint syrup.

Mr Slimane.|Telephone for Mr Slimane.

That is me.

Cell 2, Mr.

- Mohammed Larbi Slimane?|- That is me.

Nobody comes to save you.|You have run into our trap.

- What?|- Fars wake up.

You are not getting away alive.|It is over with that revolution of yours.

Over 30 seconds. He tries|to escape along the back.

We cannot catch him in the middle of|Saint Germain de Prs.

Watch your mouth.

Go guard the back alley.

Fars.

Hurry up!

Drive.

Do not hang up, young lady.

- Send a tow truck immediately.|- Rather ask for a tow boat.

Pull the boat. And dont bungle.

Strike? They still strike|in my factory?

I will also strike.|I am exhausted.

What did you say?

I forbid them to strike.|No. No, I say.

Just promise them everything,|and I shall give them nothing.

Salomon, a car.

Stop, stop.

Beast, egoist, idiot.

First road on the left.|The factory is at the end.

It becomes dark.|We must find a place to sleep.

Put on the lights.|Then they can find us easier.

No, Mr.

I cannot put them on.|I cannot work on a Saturday.

It is Friday.

The Sabbath starts Friday evening.|Then I can no longer work.

You cant make an exception|this time, Salomon?

Then you will get|two Sabbaths next week.

- You dont know our traditions.|- Exactly, and that I am proud of.

You eat no flesh on Fridays|and I dont work Saturdays.

- Its not crazier than that.|- Yes is it.

It is crazy.|I tell you that its crazy.

You are dismissed.|Now you can have Sabbath each evening.

- As you wish, Mr.|- Out!

Saint Antonius of Padua, give me|a place to sleep and a driver.

A Catholic just like you,|the kind lord and I.

Oh, a light.|Thanks, Saint Antonius.

Is there anyone?

Concirge?

Ms?

Is there someone?

There is someone!

I will make you to talk, Slimane.

Where will the revolution take place?

Which city? How? Which regiment?

Talk, Slimane.

Kill me, but do not try|to judge me.

The people stand behind me.

But the power comes from|the barrel of a gun.

Mao Tse Tung.

Mohammed Larbi Slimane...

...as a president of|this contra-revolutionary tribunal...

I find you guilty of treason.

What is that abracadabra?

Gentlemen, your sentence.

Death!

Speak, then we'll save your live.

The revolution is as a bicycle.|If it does not go ahead, it falls.

Eddy Merckx.|- No, Che Guevara.

The police force. 17

No, the police force is 22... 17

- Hello? Is this the police force?|- Yes.

- Give me the commissioner. Fast.|- This is the commissioner speaking.

Come directly to the|Yankee chewing-gum factory.

- Chewing-gum?|- Yes, chewing-gum...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Gérard Oury

Gérard Oury (29 April 1919 – 20 July 2006) was a French film director, actor and writer. His real name was Max-Gérard Houry Tannenbaum. more…

All Gérard Oury scripts | Gérard Oury Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Les Aventures de Rabbi Jacob (The Mad Adventures of Rabbi Jacob)" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/les_aventures_de_rabbi_jacob_(the_mad_adventures_of_rabbi_jacob)_3323>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Les Aventures de Rabbi Jacob (The Mad Adventures of Rabbi Jacob)

    Browse Scripts.com

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.