Lennon Naked Page #3

Is that a pool?

(JULIAN CHATTERING OUTSIDE)

Are you happy, John?

I mean,

all this is a dream come true, isn't it?

Heated, you know.

But still, no drinks cabinet.

(JULIAN LAUGHING OUTSIDE)

So what's next, then, for the Fab Four?

I've had a lot of people die on me.

Never thought Brian would.

In the midst of life and all that, John.

Only the good die young, son.

What are you looking at?

Do you get that?

You laugh 'cause the other fella's dead

and not you.

You don't know what to feel.

There but for the grace of God.

People ask me,

"How do you feel about Brian? "

I don't know what to feel.

I feel like

I've stopped feeling anything.

Queen, was he?

What's that got to do with anything?

Nothing.

Knew a lot of them when I was at sea,

good blokes, most of them.

Had a letter from Uncle Charlie,

giving your side of the story.

All you've heard's the gospel

according to your Auntie Mimi,

starring me as Herod, Judas

and Pontius Pilate all rolled into one.

She brought me up.

So you can shut your mouth

on that score.

You treat all your houseguests

like this, do you?

I do if they dump me, aged six,

and don't come back for 1 7 years.

Like I said, what you've heard's

not the whole story.

No, you left it up to me.

Is that what you told me

last time I saw you?

I could do with

a bit of a lie-down, son.

You want to show us

where you're putting me?

Is this my grandson?

Who do you think this disreputable

old get is, Julian?

-A gardener?

-I'm your granddad.

Can you play football?

I'm talking with your dad, son.

Go on, make yourself useful.

Come on, then, give us a goal.

Ah! Goal! Oh, look at that!

Well done, son.

"Anyone who thought the Beatles

could do no wrong

"should be forced to watch

the Magical Mystery Tour

"and watch them fall flat on their faces

over 1 00 enervating minutes."

They don't know

what they're talking about.

I hope Paul's seen this.

Do you think Cynthia looks like

Brigitte Bardot, Dot?

Do you think my wife resembles

the famous French sex kitten?

She does, you see.

Mmm. She does,

only she's much better-looking.

-In what way?

-Ignore him, Dot.

Dot?

Well, her hair.

Her hair.

I'm going to be meeting Brigitte

when I get back from India.

So I'll be able to make

a proper comparison.

(DOOR SLAMS)

A gamekeeper run him down?

It was the chimney sweep who saw him.

He took him for an intruder.

Very brave of him, as it happens,

to apprehend him.

So rare these days that chimney sweeps

get the credit they deserve.

I could have called the police.

For that matter, I still can.

Then why don't you?

(SIGHS)

All right?

All right, John, glad to see you.

What are you doing, you stupid sod?

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