Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events Page #2

Young Klaus.

Your left side is the good one.

And what is this?

I'm Sunny.

I'm sorry, I don't speak monkey.

Banana.

I am not a monkey!

Sunny's our sister.

I must say, you're a gloomy-looking bunch.

Why so glum?

Our parents just died.

Yes, of course. How very, very awful.

Wait, let me do that one more time.

Give me the line again. Quickly, while it's fresh in my mind.

Our parents just... died?

Yes.

What a schmuck!!

Mr Poe.

I will raise these orphans as if they were actually wanted.

And though you would call it a burden, a sacrifice, you are mistaken, sir, and should be ashamed of yourself!

The idea!

Anyway, where do I sign for the fortune... I mean, children?

You won't officially have guardianship until the hearing on Thursday morning.

And what am I to do with them until then?

Excuse me?

What I mean is... Do you work out?

You look good. Healthy, I mean.

Well, I'd better get back to the bank.

Can't you stay for a brief imbibement?

A glass of port? Sanka?

I suppose... Another time then.

Children, if you need anything... No, we're fine. We're all fine.

Any questions...

I realise that my humble abode isn't as fancy as the Baudelaire Mansion, but I'm coming into a great deal of money soon and I think it'll be quite charming when it's finished.

Shall we take a look?

This is the living room.

The kitchen.

I know what you're thinking.

This place could use a little TLC.

I trust you've had your tetanus shots. Polio. Smallpox. Typhoid. Malaria.

This is the entertainment or rumpus room.

I'm told the ceiling can be brought up to code in no time.

You're not afraid of heights, are you?

Imagine that. A monkey afraid of heights.

My theatre. This way.

What's that up there?

The tower, which you are never to enter,

under any circumstances.

This is where you'll sleep, time permitting. Nighty-night.

But the sun's still up. But the sun's still up.

I don't know if you've ever noticed, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.

For instance, Klaus, when Sunny was born, didn't like her at all.

But by the time she was six weeks old, the two of them were thick as thieves.

A phrase which here means "fetching and biting for hours on end."

In the case of Count Olaf, however...

Orphans!

...they were correct.

Every morning, Count Olaf would order the Baudelaires to do a great number of terrible chores.

After which, he would stalk off to his mysterious tower room.

And as unfortunate as their situation seemed, it was only about to get worse.

I woke up in a tub full of ice in Baja, and I realised that these girls had stolen my kidney.

No!

Imagine my surprise.

Orphans, this is my acting troupe.

Acting troupe, orphans. They don't look rich.

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