Lano & Woodley: The Island

Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Simon Francis
60 min

Why do you say that?

Well, if I'm here,

it means I'm not so good.

That's a rather negative association.

My only job is to see that you're happy,

things are OK with you.


Your file shows that you've

been interacting regularly

with Jordan Two Delta.

- There's no law against friendship.

- No. No, we encourage it,

but, obviously,

proximity could become a concern.

I know the rules of proximity.

You've been doing quite well

in most other areas.

Proficient at work,

exercising rigorously.

But screening has picked up

some trace levels,

changes in your metabolism,

and you've been having nightmares.

Are you saying there's

something wrong with me?

Why don't you tell me

about your dream?

Well, it's the same dream every time.

I'm on a boat, headed to the Island.

A boat? What kind of boat?

A nice boat.

Draw it for me, would you?

So, you are heading

toward the Island.

What happens then?

- I drown.

- Really?

- Why do you think that is?

- I don't know. You tell me.

- Maybe you're afraid of winning.

- Why would I be afraid?

You tell me.

What's troubling you, Lincoln?

Well, it's...

It's just...

All right.

Tuesday night is tofu night.

And I'm asking myself, who decided

that everyone here likes tofu

in the first place?

And what is tofu, anyway?

And why can't I have bacon?

I line up every morning,

and I'm not allowed any bacon

for my breakfast.


Let's talk about all the white.

Why is everyone

wearing white all the time?

It's impossible to keep clean.

I always get the gray stripe.

I never get any color.

And I hand it in to be cleaned,

and someone cleans it, and folds it

neatly back in my drawer, but who?

Who is that person? I don't know.

I just... I wanna know answers.

And I wish that there was more.

- More?

- Yeah.

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Colin Lane

Colin Stuart Lane (born 25 March 1965) is an Australian comedian, actor and TV host living in Melbourne, best known for being one-half of comedy duo Lano and Woodley. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Lano & Woodley: The Island" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 5 May 2021. <>.

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