Lano & Woodley: The Island Page #2

Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Simon Francis
 
IMDB:
8.8
Year:
2005
60 min
168 Views


More than just waiting

to go to the Island.

Lincoln,

it's your nature

to question things.

But don't you realize how lucky you are?

That you survived the contamination.

That nature has left you

a Garden of Eden to repopulate.

That, Lincoln, is your purpose.

Right. And you?

Aren't you going to the Island too?

No.

My responsibility is to make sure

this facility continues to operate.

That's why people like me,

my staff and supervisors, we...

...we can't win the lottery.

Let me see that.

You draw well.

"Renovatio."

What does that mean?

I don't know.

It's always in my dream.

I'd like to run some tests

on you, Lincoln.

What sort of tests?

Nice tests.

Come with me.

Take a seat.

OK, let's get you comfortable.

Swing back.

- I thought these were nice tests.

- It's a synaptic brain scan.

Totally harmless.

Don't worry, it's painless.

- It hurts.

- Not really.

- Yeah, it does!

- No, it doesn't.

Yeah, it really, really does!

The micro-sensors

will move along your optic nerve.

They'll be uploading readings

to us over the next 24 hours,

after which,

you'll pass them through your urine.

Now, that might hurt.

Six Echo, you're late.

Jones, you ever get bored doing this?

- Doing what?

- This.

- I never really thought about it.

- I think about it a lot.

- About what?

- This boring job.

- What are we doing here?

- We're feeding the nutrient lines.

We eat food, food's gotta have

vitamins, right? It's good for us.

You don't ever wonder about anything?

Where do these tubes go?

They start there.

And they go... right there.

Hey. Did you get a look

at the new guy?

Seven Foxtrot.

They found another survivor.

They keep finding them.

He'll probably win the lottery.

Straight down, in the hole.

There you go, you try it.

Straight down in the hole.

In the hole.

No, no, no. Put it down.

Did we all look that stupid

when we went through decontamination?

Hey, Mr. Man-With-All-The-Questions,

let me ask you this:

Lottery's supposed

to be random, right?

Right.

What if it's not?

What if it's rigged?

Rigged?

I've been working on this. Here.

Take a look at that.

It charts the last 20 people

that won a spot on the Island.

Excluding, of course, the women,

picked to be breeders.

- What is this?

- I took the first letter in each name.

I assigned it a point value system,

based on the alphabet,

like the last guy,

Starkweather, S equals 15.

Q equals 15, S equals 19.

- Do you see what I'm saying?

- No.

Well, maybe if you would listen to me,

I'm trying to tell you.

You string the numbers together.

You divide it by the amount...

You multiply... You divide it by

the amount of... You divide it...

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Colin Lane

Colin Stuart Lane (born 25 March 1965) is an Australian comedian, actor and TV host living in Melbourne, best known for being one-half of comedy duo Lano and Woodley. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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