Landline Page #2

- I don't know,

are you inviting me?

- I want the whole family.

You, Ali, me, Ben, and...

you know, what's her face,

the one with the D.

- Yes, Dana.

- Douchebag.

- Her name is not douchebag.

That's too German.

Douchebag.

Dana Douchebag.

[muted chatter]

[water spraying]

- Okay, switch.

Okay, I need to wash.

- Okay, hold on.

Wait a second.

- What?

- What is that?

- What?

- Right there, that rash.

- [gasps]

Oh my God. Come on!

- Sorry, sorry.

It's on your arm too.

- Oh, I've been itching

all week.

- [garbled mumbling]

I think you might

have poison ivy.

- What?

Excuse me.

- What?

- How did I get poison ivy?

- That was a joint decision.

- You gave me poison ivy.

- It's probably

in my vagina.

- You want me to look?

- No! Geez.

- Oh, I should probably

pee on you.

- [laughs]

That move is for jellyfish.

I'm not stupid.

- No, it's for poison ivy too.

- [laughs]

- I think it is.

- You want to pee on me?

[laughs]

- Here we go, here we go.

- No! We just have--

- Shh!

- Are you doing it?

- Just quiet down.

- All right, do it, do it.

- I can't pee on command.

- Do it before I change my mind.

Do it, do it.

- Listen, okay, there it is.

- Oh my God.

- You want me to stop.

- No.

- No?

- I like it.

[sitar music]

- He was touring

with the Grateful Dead

for, like, many months.

So I don't even know

what this place is or--

- He wasn't touring.

He was following them.

He probably has lice.

- Making grilled cheese

sandwiches in the parking lot.

- [gasps]

- Hey, Ravi!

- Oh my God.

- Oh my God. Look at you.

- Look at me?

Look at you.

- You're back. Aw.

- Embrace me, brother.

Embrace me.

You get a head hug too.

- Hi, I'm Ben.

What's your--what's your name?

- This is--this is Table.

- Table?

- Off the bat,

she's taken a vow of silence.

- Oh, okay. That makes sense.

- Wow.

Just in time for the party.

- Dude, we got to catch up.

- Yeah, yeah, let's catch up.

- You good?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- She's so good.

- Hurry.

- Okay.

- Let's go, let's go.

- Benjamin.

- Look at this.

- Benjamin.

- Guys, make room

for Table as well.

[indistinct chatter]

[sitar music plays]

- Did you see

what Ravi's new look is?

- [laughs]

I think he sews it himself.

- Can you imagine the Ravi

we knew in college--

- Yeah. It's different.

- Looking into the future

and seeing this?

- I know.

Well, I guess it's...

the influence of, you know,

Mrs. Table, yeah.

- He's soon to be, Mr. Table.

[laughs]

- Yeah. Hey, good for him.

- It's really sweet.

- I'm still looking

for my Table.

- [laughs]

- I really am though.

This girl

I was just with

showed up to a date

wearing a ski mask.

- [laughs]

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