Land Ho! Page #4
If so, e-mail back soon.
Flight info below.
Hope to see you soon.
Love, your coz, Ellen."
Now, Ellen's a hottie.
I've already e-mailed.
Told them we'd pick them up.
So guess what, baby.
We're going to party with two nice,
tight-assed ladies this evening.
That's gonna be so much fun.
Ooh, goodness, it's gonna be fun.
You said cousin, right?
Yeah, cousin.
I'm just saying is,
it's good for us...
to hang around with
good-looking women...
because good-looking women
begot other good-looking women.
Even you might get lucky.
- Yeah.
- I've seen you look at the women...
they wear around...
sculptured out of granite, except...
they do...
the slishy-sloshy.
When they walk,
they go slishy-sloshy...
slishy... I see your eyes
light up. You bastard.
Why don't you admit that you love
to look at ass and tits, okay?
- What's wrong with you?
- Absolutely not.
Boy, you such a bullshit artist.
I got you. I got your ass this time.
Yeah, all right. All right.
No, man, I didn't. I missed it.
Damn, honey. That's like a
fantasy of mine come true.
You know, you talk
about a fantasy story.
I was at a bar in New Orleans...
John Goodman comes up to me, starts
talking, asks me to go duck hunting.
You know John Goodman. He was...
- Yeah. Yep.
- ...Dan Conner in the Roseanne show.
Who would have thought that he
would ask me to go duck hunting?
Was there a spaceship
up above the bar...
that was manipulating him?
Who's to say that...
there's not somebody out there...
who's planning and playing us...
like little dolls, you know?
They're moving us around
like we're on a chessboard.
You know, it's like this
is all science fiction.
Reality, that we think
about it, doesn't exist.
And you might not even be here.
- I'm pretty sure I'm here.
- You don't know if you're here.
You might be in a test tube...
- I'm...
- You could be drifting around in space.
He's, like, a little bit eccentric.
- Okay.
- Just so you know.
- Okay.
- Oh, boy. I think that's them.
That's a ginormous car.
- Is there a fire over there?
- What?
A fire. You see...?
Is there a fire over there?
Where?
Oh, I see you now. It's your
ass that's so hot, it's on fire.
- Okay.
- Thank you, Leslie.
Don't call me Leslie.
Now hold it right there.
- Walk a little bit closer.
- Okay.
Let me take a couple
pictures of you girls.
Hold it right there.
Give us a big smile.
Alrighty. Got it, girls.
Didn't they have any
big cars available?
Come here, doll baby.
- I'm so happy to see you.
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"Land Ho!" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/land_ho!_12200>.
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