Laid in America Page #3

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That's how I roll

# 'Cause I never lose a game

You think I suck? Hell, no

# I got a big dick

I know you're f***ing jealous

# I'm a FIFA don, like in Goodfellas

# Haters getting mad

# But I'm the one with lows

# So if you're hating

You can go and suck my balls #

Stop.

Duncan, I really want you

to hit that note right there.

You're at the climax of the chorus

and everyone needs to feel that passion.

So do it again.

At the balls?

The balls.

# To all my haters

You can go and suck my balls

# Suck my balls

Like that.

- You want me to sing it?

- Yes.

# Suck my balls

# Suck my balls, suck my balls

# Suck my balls #

You did it.

Bring it in, homie.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Everyone, give it up for Duncan.

A plus, plus, plus. Whoo!

And that, everyone, is how

you take direction

and turn it into perfection.

Now, another song about

one of my other cats, Chip.

Yo, your pitch was a little off,

but the song was pretty sick, I guess.

- Thanks, man.

- Shut up.

Duncan.

Hey, Tucker.

Can Jack and I come to your party tonight?

No, f*** no, all right?

My place is gonna be crawling with hotties.

I don't need two foreign losers

coming and killing the vibe.

So shut up and turn around.

Duncan.

Hey, Tucker?

What?

It's our last night, man.

And it would really mean a lot.

Besides, I'm really trying to get laid.

All right, look, the only way

you guys are getting into my party

is if you bring two girls with you.

Okay.

Hot girls.

Okay.

And not from this school, all right?

I wanna meet some new baes.

Okay.

Make sure they're hot

or you're not getting in.

They're gonna be so f***ing hot.

Why would you promise Tucker

we could bring two hot girls?

Because that's the only way

we're getting into his party tonight.

But we don't know any girls,

especially hot ones.

Yo, I just got you past the VIP list

so you can see Kaylee tonight, all right?

The least you can say is, "Thank you."

But if I arrive at the party

with another girl,

there's no way Kaylee's gonna talk to me.

Listen to me, okay?

If you want to have any chance

of seeing your lover tonight

and getting laid,

then you need to help me find

hot girls for this party.

Then, once we're inside,

you can go and see Kaylee.

Come on, bro, do you want to remember this

as the night

that you went to bed at 9:00 p.m.

or the night that you went after Kaylee?

Fine. I'm in.

Yes, my nigga.

Beth, your parents found

this disturbing drawing in your room,

and it concerns me.

Do you want to explain this?

That's me burning my entire house

with everything inside it,

including my parents.

That's what we're talking about.

My wife gave birth to a little demon.

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