Laid in America Page #2
you can go home to this every night.
Pretty sexy, eh?
I am watching you.
Don't get any ideas.
Shalonda is all mine.
And she is very good with her hands.
Anyway, enough of the cock teasing.
Here we go.
Here are your foreign exchange certificates,
and good luck to you, boys.
I hope I have been an inspiration.
Thank you.
Okay.
I hope you're de-virginized
when I see you next.
Send me a card.
Marsha, get that troublemaker Billy Franco
to come and take back his Sh*t Swipe game.
It's f***in' broken.
Dude, I gotta get laid tonight,
just, somehow.
Good luck.
Hiring a prostitute doesn't count.
I'm not going to hire a prostitute,
but you know what?
I'm not gonna rule anything out.
Jack?
Hey, Jack.
Hey. Hey, Kaylee.
Thank you so much for letting me
cheat off your test yesterday.
- I got a B.
- That's great.
Okay, well, see you, bro.
Uh, what are your plans for tonight?
Um, tonight's my last night in the States.
What? Oh, my God.
I can't believe it's your last night
and we never got to hang out.
I didn't think you knew I existed.
Yeah, you're that cute British kid.
I'm South African, but I could be British.
Well, Mr. South Africa,
are you going to Tucker's party tonight?
I want to go.
Oh, my God. You have to go.
We have to make your last night here
a night to remember.
What?
Let me see your phone.
Okay, there's my number.
Text me so we can meet up tonight?
- Maybe we can even...
- Have sex.
I mean, that's what I plan on doing tonight.
Get off me, and I hope
you're talking about someone else,
because we broke up, remember?
Whatever, you'll come back.
- They always come back.
- Definitely not.
You look like you're 12 years old,
you know that?
- Okay.
- Why don't you lift something, bro?
Your arms look like ramen noodles.
Tucker, stop.
You wanna go, bro?
Saved by the bell.
Little b*tch.
Hey, would you at least walk me to class,
just one more time, please?
Come on.
Okay, fine. But don't put your arm
around me.
I wasn't going to. Don't yell at me.
- See you tonight, Jack.
- I'll put it in my schedule.
F*** you, Jack.
My sweet, sweet Kaylee.
What?
Nothing.
# Just leave me alone
# Meow
# In the dark, I wanna cringe
# I miss you so much
# In the dark, I wanna #
Oh...
F***.
That song was dedicated to
my cat, Sprinkles.
She was my best friend.
Okay, let's hear
what you're passionate about
with your final performance.
Duncan, you're up first.
Go get 'em.
Um, my final song is called,
F*** What My Friends Say,
I'm Good at FIFA.
# It's FIFA time
So I'ma make you all my b*tch
# So shut the f*** up
Or I'll put you in a ditch
# I play online, I win online
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"Laid in America" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/laid_in_america_12174>.
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