Laerte-se Page #2

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something very...

She is not just a person

I want to appease

and to make sure

she feels comfortable.

No. She is a fundamental

person in my life.

And she always will be.

It's not that she was fundamental.

She is fundamental.

-I like this sugar, it...

-I think it is quite pretty.

-Yes, it forms these little blocks...

-It is shiny.

I used to like...

When I went to the beach, the river...

When it reaches the sea,

it digs into the sand.

The riverbed changes a lot.

Depending on the water flow,

the riverbed comes, it goes...

So, there are many...

The edge of the sand

makes these little fjords.

And I used to love playing

with those things,

changing the water course until...

Boom! A big chunk would fall off.

It's the same with sugar.

-Was this when you were a kid?

-Yeah, more as a kid.

My father bought

a piece of land in Juquehy

and built a pre-fabricated house there.

In 1966.

What song do you want?

I want Spider Man.

Spider Man, Spider Man...

No, this is where we play. Here...

The black ones?

We play and put it in the little hole.

Ah, I know. It was not Spider Man.

It was Batman.

Batman!

You said you are afraid

of exposing yourself.

What exactly are you afraid of exposing?

I don't know.

I once said it is because I am afraid

people will realize that I am a fraud.

I am afraid they will realize...

They will realize it. I am afraid...

I don't like people to come into my house

because they will see that it's a mess,

that it's not a regular house.

HOW DO YOU MAKE:

A SMALL HOUSE SEEM BIG?

I have lived here for 12 years.

I still haven't decided what I want there.

Everything is still temporary.

It is an eternal temporary.

Sort of exposed.

Exposed wires, the baseboard...

The baseboard is falling to pieces

and I still haven't sorted it out.

I will end up doing it at some point.

We don't always

do things logically, do we?

From my son's death to 2009,

when I decided, "Enough, I will become

a woman. I will start this journey",

different things happened.

WE DON'T NEED TO FORGE THE FACE WE ONCE HAD (HERE IN 2016)

Growing my beard, radically changing

my work, abandoning the characters.

I say abandoning

because it is just a way of saying it.

I left aside making use of characters.

I left aside using

the construction of comical discourse

the way I used to.

I went through all of these things.

But I had already started investigating

myself as a transgender person.

And I stopped.

And at this point,

some sort of bell rang inside of me,

when Diogo died.

And I thought it was... I don't know.

I asked myself several times,

why did this sound inadequate to me?

Why wasn't messing with my work

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