La vache

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1

Fatah!

Fatah!

All right! Coming!

ONE MAN AND HIS COW

Ok, Ok...

Where's our red wedding blanket?

The red one?

I can't find it.

I don't know.

Then who does?

Naima, it's not my problem!

You're with the FBI?

Ignore her, Jacqueline.

She's jealous.

How are you today?

Did you sleep well?

Hot today, isn't it?

Let me turn the air-con on.

Let's get this off you

before Naima kicks up a fuss.

Seen this, Jacqueline?

The champion.

What a beauty.

Inch'Allah, we'll go

to the Agricultural Show like her.

You're beautiful today.

If we go one day, you'll see...

The man will say,

"Ladies and gentlemen,

let's give a warm welcome

to the beautiful, the lovely,

the sweet Jacqueline from Boulayoune!"

They'll all cheer and celebrate!

They'll give you kisses, flowers,

bananas!

But today we have to go to the market.

I know...

You don't want to,

but what can I do?

Got to make a living.

Hurry!

If you arrive late,

you'll get the worst spot again.

Hurry or not,

I always get the worst spot.

Affida!

Khadija!

Let's go, Jacqueline.

Khadija, my daughter...

How are you today?

Go on, talk to her in French

like I taught you.

Hello, Jacqueline,

I'm pleased to meet you.

My name's Khadija.

What's your name?

That's good, Khadija, my girl.

Learning French is important, ok?

"How do you do?"

"Enjoy your meal."

"Where's the bathroom?"

"The bathrooms engaged or vacant."

Dad!

Will you sing us your French song?

Ok.

You sing with me, all right?

Here we go.

My wife, I'll take you to the country

Where we'll sleep in a hut together

And ea! apples and bananas

Can I ride Jacqueline?

No, you rode her yesterday.

Go on, get to work.

Thank you.

Thanks for the milk.

- You're welcome.

- God protect you.

Inch'Allah.

Hamed, it's your son-in-law

and his second wife.

Fatah!

When'll you marry Jacqueline?

Maybe she'll give you a son!

Shut up!

Look at you,

lazing around all day.

Shame on you, Mokhtar,

talking like that.

Just playing around.

The country's fine.

It's the people, they're mean.

Samir!

- Has the postman been?

- Not yet.

I have that tape you wanted.

Here.

"Stars 80"! You found it!

Francois Feldman, Niagara,

Aznavour...

All your Aznavour.

You're a real pro, Samir.

No problem, enjoy it.

Who's that?

My French girlfriend.

- Can she see you?

- At the bottom.

She saw me?

You leaned in.

Yes, she saw you.

Of course she did.

It's too late now. Talk to her.

Hello, ma'am.

How's things in France?

- I'm Charlie too!

- All of us!

Samir's the best!

He's a great guy.

You have to marry him.

He'll get papers

to bring all his cousins to France!

Don't say that!

She'll hang up!

- You want to marry her?

- Yes.

She's like your grandma,

with straight hair.

Get lost.

Take Jacqueline to the market!

That guy's crazy!

I love you too.

How's it going, Al Pacino?

Mail! Mail!

Get your mail!

- Messaoudi, Mohamed?

- That's me.

Ichou,

Mohamed?

Nahar...

Mohamed.

You're Mohamed?

Are you all called Mohamed here?

Bellabbes, Fatah?

He's my son-in-law.

I'll take it.

I can't give it to you.

But he's my son-in-law.

It's an official letter from France.

Personal delivery.

Get him.

Youssef!

Get Fatah from the market.

He can forget Jacqueline,

the postman wants him!

Who's Jacqueline?

Postman!

Here he comes.

- Bellabbes, Fatah?

- Yes.

Sign here.

Go on, read it.

"Dear Mr Bellabbes,"

That's me.

"As every year,

you have asked to attend

the Agricultural Show."

Yes.

"Due to your perseverance

and motivation,

the committee has decided to invite you

and your cow Jacqueline...

to the international

bovine competition.

Please find enclosed your invitation

and visa request form."

Signed,

"the Paris Agricultural Show Committee."

Thank you, everyone!

Lemonade all round!

Lemonade all round!

"As the Show

cannot cover all costs,

travel expenses are to be paid

by participants."

Hello.

He's unreliable.

He's a dreamer.

Why should we help him?

Here in Boulayoune,

each man has his chance.

Mohamed,

when your son needed money,

we helped out.

And you, Mohamed.

We lent you money

to dig your well.

And you, Mokhtar...

What do you say?

Me?

I think...

we must help him

make the journey.

What about our money

if he doesn't come back?

I know my son-in-law.

God willing, he'll succeed.

Or I'll pay you back.

Fatah,

why do you want to do this trip

with your cow?

The Agricultural Show

is a Mecca for farmers.

It has always been my dream.

If you help me,

I'll be so very happy.

Who votes

to help Fatah make this journey?

All this money,

how'll we pay it back?

I've worked the land since I was 14

and I've never had a cent.

Naima, please, trust me.

Call my brother Hassan

in Marseilles.

He'll go with you to Paris.

Hassan?

Not on your life!

He's a liar, a thief.

He insulted me in my home.

I don't need him.

I'll manage alone.

That's enough.

I'll tell my father to call him.

Dad, some men want to see you.

Hi, Fatah!

Take us to France with you,

to the Agricultural Show.

I shampooed her.

I think she stands

a chance of winning too.

Look what you've done!

The shame of it!

Cute, huh'?

My Pretty goat.

See how well she jumps?

She's a cute goat, all right.

Naima.

Go and sleep with your cow!

But it's not the same.

Please, unlock the door.

Sleep with Jacqueline.

Please...

Naima, let me in, please.

Naima.

Sh*t!

Goodbye, Si Brahim.

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