La kryptonite nella borsa

Year:
2011
35 Views


KRYPTONITE !

Peppino, don't make me drag you.

Come on !

Do me a favour...

Come on.

Halt, passers-by!

Rosaria, you're not allowed through !

Gennaro, not today,

I still have to cook.

I feel it... I feel the vibes...

You've got kryptonite in your bag !

I swear on your father's soul,

I don't have any...

- Damn the torpedoes !

- Mum, give him your bag.

Fine, here...

This is the story of a superhero,

of a family,

and of a little boy with glasses.

The little boy,

Giuseppe Sansone, AKA Peppino,

was bom in Naples

on February 20, 1964.

Peppino's arrival immediately

caused a stir in the family.

His aunt and uncles

soon began to worry about him.

Sweet Jesus, he's so ugly...

Titina, he's not that ugly,

he's just particular looking.

Maybe he's really intelligent...

Maybe...

Uncle Federico, although busy

studying for high school,

devised ways to keep

his newborn nephew at bay.

That son of ours is so smart.

Indeed, Federico is so brainy.

Aunt Titina and Uncle Salvatore

also concocted various techniques

to keep him quiet

and make him sleep.

Enough Salvatore,

we don't want to kill him.

Peppino, a ball!

His father soon tried

to rouse his love for sports...

but to no avail.

His paternal grandparents

raised him with their own methods.

Mum, what did you do ?

But the most crucial moment was the

discovery that Peppino was myopic.

Antonio and Rosaria had never seen

children with glasses.

Antonio Sansone, Peppino's father,

worked at the Singer shop

in Portici, near Naples.

Antonio gave rides

to other neighbourhood shopkeepers.

The Failed Boxer, Tonino,

Gigino, the Tripe Seller,

and Valeria,

the Tobacconist's Daughter.

For Peppino, sewing machines

exuded an inexplicable appeal,

much like his mother's

work instruments.

Rosaria Sansone

had an accounting degree

and worked as a typist

for 70,000 lira a month.

While her co-worker Assunta

didn't receive a thing

since her salary was collected

directly by her family.

Assunta had two dreams:

to find a boyfriend,

and buy a tube of tasty

Kraft mayonnaise.

Assunta, take this home,

it's a savoury ricotta pie.

-1 made it last night.

- Take it home ?

Then they'll eat it!

Spit it out!

Last but not least, cousin Gennaro,

who thought he was Superman.

Gennaro feared nothing,

except an evil mineral.

My mistake,

you're not transporting

the lethal green kryptonite.

Sure ? Don't you want to X-ray me ?

Till our next adventure !

Say hi to Batman for me

when you see him !

This is the story of a little boy

with glasses,

of a family, and of a superhero.

But it's not a story about childhood,

it's a story about love.

When I grow up

will I be like Superman ?

Hope not.

"Distinguished sirs"...

That fast ?

- What's that ?

- "Best regards".

This is "Peppino"..

this is "mother".

Gabelsberger shorthand.

I was fast as lightning,

I could've won the national

shorthand championship.

- Why didn't you do it ?

- Who would've taken care of you ?

Who would've looked after you

and bathed you ?

Time to get out or your fingers

will shrivel up like a chicken's.

Won't your fingers shrivel up ?

Peppino, let's play a game...

go stand near the window out there,

try to spot another car

that's the same exact colour as ours.

- That's really hard !

- That's why this game is fun !

- If you win, you get 500 lira.

- Dry off first.

How dare you !

Missed shot by player 11,

Ferradini...

Peppino, ask dad and grandpa

if they want coffee.

Go on.

- Grandma wants to know...

- Shh ! The match is on !

Peppino!

-Dad...

- The match !

Give us this day our daily bread,

forgive us our trespasses, as we

forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation

but deliver us from evil, amen.

And remember each of you

has three mothers.

The first mum:
who does

the cooking and cleaning at home.

The second:
who's up in heaven,

our beloved Virgin Mary.

And the third...

is me, your teacher

that the good Lord gave you.

That said,

place your hands on your desks

and let's begin parsing sentences...

"A man went to the market."

- "A" ?

- Indefinite article!

Good, Peppino.

"Man" ?

Common noun.

'Went" ?

From the verb "to go",

past tense,

third person singular

'To" ?

Imposimato, give it a try...

Definite article ?

Imposimato, you're making me crazy !

Give it another try... "To" ?

Adjective ?

An adjective ? "To" ?

How could that be an adjective ?

Come on, think it through.

To"...

Pre...

Prep...

Quiet!

- Preposition.

- What kind of preposition ?

Don't cry,

I had to tell you the answer!

"Market" ?

- What about me ?

- Be the goal.

- The goalie ?

- No, the goalpost.

No goal, it hit the post!

Peppino...

something happened,

something horrible happened.

Gennaro, your cousin,

Superman, is gone...

he was run over by the 111 bus...

He died, Peppino.

But Superman can't just die.

No?

He never dies...

unless the bus

was full of kryptonite...

that evil mineral!

Lex Luthor put it there !

Well, maybe he really did

put it there.

How about

we go to the fair on Sunday ?

And maybe one of these days

we'll go to Procida.

It's a wonderful island.

Well take the ferry.

Me, you, and daddy.

Yes!

Don't run, you'll get hurt.

ROSARIA BEWARE,

ANTONIO'S "CHEETING" ON YOU

Come to daddy...

Rosaria, it's late, I have to go.

See you later.

Bye.

Why didn't you invite him,

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Ivan Cotroneo

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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