Knights of Badassdom Page #2

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No, there's no need for drama.

You always have a place

here at meine castle.

I still love her.

We can't leave him like this.

I know.

I'll be fine... Just go.

Go... Kill your fake dragons.

This is awkward.

I know what you need.

Come on.

Come on!

Uh-uh.

I told you, I don't do

that sh*t any more.

Yeah and the reason you quit

just kicked you to the curb.

So I think it's high time that

you got back in the saddle.

It's a sativa, dude.

It'll lift your spirits

but not knock you out.

Just do it... it's nothing.

Okay.

I love you.

I love you too, Joe.

Sweet Jesus.

Wait.

Oh no.

F*** me.

Aye, Sir Dragoroth have

been detained by Minerva.

...The sea hag.

His bewitchment by the siren's

song shall be the nail

thine army wantst,

King Diamond the Red.

We shall see.

Until Evermore.

'Til Evermore.

Eric!

Hung!

Where the f*** are we?

'Tis the kingdom of

Eliphaz, my naive friend.

You shanghaied me and dressed me.

Aye.

It just felt right.

Adventuring is exactly

what thou needst.

"Needst" is not a word.

Where we are, it is.

I'm taking this sh*t off.

Whoa!

Now is not the time

to lose thy nerve,

brave and scorned warrior.

Thou has been recruited to

fight in the glorious army

of Kabedrah.

The epic battle of Evermore.

Come, Sir Hung.

That looks terrible.

My three-year-old nephew

could make a better map.

He's got learning disabilities.

It'll have to do.

You, my friend, are on dragon duty.

Take these...

and make sure that

weeee are good to go.

And Dragon Rider!

Just don't f*** with my stereo.

Grass is nourished by

the blood of heroes.

Hmm?

- Are you listening?

- Yes.

Uh-huh... let's continue.

And here we have Fengyrian Falls.

Oh.

Remember, gentlemen, your

supervision of this script

and the monsters contained within

will make this event come alive.

Follow me now.

Adventures lie waiting

like sleeping dragons!

Hah?

And here we have Novum Castellum!

Ah, each band of

heroes will complete

a Class Three quest this eve.

By gathering at the

plains of Evermore,

the battle betwixt the realms

of King Diamond and Carey.

Though there will be a big

surprise in store for all.

And as game master, I will be

watching over all of this.

You can think of me as God.

Excuse me a minute.

Ah, Gwen.

Just whom I wanted to see.

I have been watching you these

long battle-swept nights

of the campaign and you

have shown your mettle.

So, verily, the time has come

for you to ascend to

the upper realms.

Oh God.

The game hasn't started

already, has it?

- No.

- We don't have to talk

in Dorkinese yet, do we?

I thought maybe you'd want to be

my assistant head game master

and you could be my right

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