Kill Your Friends Page #3

Synopsis: An A&R man working at the height of the Britpop music craze goes to extremes in order to find his next hit.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Music
Director(s): Owen Harris
Production: Altitude Film Entertainment
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
6.0
Metacritic:
45
Rotten Tomatoes:
25%
NOT RATED
Year:
2015
103 min
$204,442
309 Views


- Waters?

- Pros:
he's a couple of years older than you.

More experience making albums.

The rank and file think he's a nice bloke.

Cons:
he's a lazy, brain-dead cocaine

addict with the attention span of a f***ing gnat

who hasn't had a hit record in donkey's.

- So he could get the job.

- Correctos.

Signing a nice big hit record

wouldn't hurt your cause.

Thanks for that blinding insight, James.

What is the meaning of life, young Stelfox?

To drive your enemies before you

and hear the lamentations of their women.

Good boy.

See you in Cannes.

I tried to imagine Roger as my boss,

Roger who tried to sign Menswear,

who thought Guy Stevens was living and well,

whose idea of a perfectly normal night out

involves waking up covered in someone else's piss,

but a crimson mist keeps closing in,

a skull charge of blood

keeps dimming my vision.

Midem.

Back in the 1960s,

a couple of Frog bum boys decided

to have a little music industry convention

in the South of France.

30 years later every January

10,000 A&R guys descend upon Cannesfor

a free-loading orgy of utter f***ing nonsense.

- Oi, oi!

- Danny.

Danny Rent, two-bob manager.

- Bollocks!

- Andy Restbourne, Sony.

Having it large, mate.

Some c*nt I did bugle with once.

Over here, son. Over here.

Incoming!

Anthony Parker Hall.

Three Brit nominations for that slag?

You having a f***ing laugh?

Who's this?

This is Darren, new scout.

Good luck, mate.

What you got going on over here, then?

Meeting with the Germans tonight

at the Martinez.

- Probably see you out, yeah?

- Yeah, later.

Clown.

I was looking for some action

Hey, Rudi.

Steven!

How's it going, man?

- When'd you get in?

- Just this morning, man.

I had Gunther fly ahead

to take care of stuff, you know.

You know me, time is money, bro.

Hardcore!

- Yeah.

- Hardcore!

- Hey, Steven. How are you?

- I'm very good.

This is Darren, new scout.

- What's up, Darren? How you doing?

- Yeah, good.

Listen, do you want me to make you happy?

- Should I make you happy?

- Very.

- I'm gonna make you happy right now.

- Thank you, Rudi. Crack on.

Listen to this sh*t, man.

Listen to that sh*t, man.

Come on, hit it.

Hold on, hold on. B*tches, come here.

Listen. Come here.

- Want some?

- Yeah, I'll have a glass.

Shut the f*** up!

One, two, three, four. Hit it.

Yeah, baby!

Who told you? Who told you?

- Who told you, Steven?

- Yeah.

I told you, man. I told you!

Yes, yes, Rudi. It's...

Biggest f***ing hit we've had

so far in Germany, man. Biggest hit.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Who's the singer?

- F*** the singer.

What are you talking about, the singer?

Who cares about the f***ing singer?

It's just a girl. She was in the studio.

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John Niven

John Niven is a Scottish author and screenwriter. His books include Kill Your Friends, The Amateurs, and The Second Coming. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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