Kes Page #3

autobiography, Present lndicative.

- What's tha got this for? Tha can't read.

- Give us it here.

Get off! Falconry?

What's tha want to know about falconry?

Give it here!

- Where've yer got this from?

- I've lent it.

Stole it, more like.

Where've yer got it from?

A shop in town.

You must be crackers. I could understand

if it were money, but chuff me, not a book!

Have it!

Look what yer've done.

I'm lookin' after this book.

- And what better off will yer be?

- A lot. I'm gonna get a kestrel and train it.

Train it? Yer couldn't train a flea.

Anyway, where yer gonna get

a kestrel from?

- I know a nest.

- Yer don't.

- All right, then, I don't.

- Where?

- I'm not tellin'.

- I said, where?

- You're hurtin' me arm!

- Where, then?

Monastery Farm.

Yer could have broke me arm then.

I'll have to see about

goin' round there wi' me gun.

- I'll tell t'farmer on yer.

- Why? What's he got to do with it?

- He protects 'em.

- Protects 'em?

Hawks are a menace to farmers.

They eat all the poultry an' that.

Ar, I know. They dive down

onto t'cows and take 'em away.

- Funny bugger.

- Well, yer talk daft. They're only small.

They eat mice, insects,

and little birds sometimes.

Hope I'll be watchin' a bird tonight. She'll

not have feathers. Not all over, anyway.

- Have you had any tea yet, Billy?

- No.

Well, get some, then.

You where t'pantry is.

- How's yer horses gone on, Jud?

- Not bad. Two winners.

You haven't.

Might be gettin' tret tonight, then.

- Oh, somebody treats you every night.

- Shut it!

And don't you be comin' home

blind drunk again, Jud.

- Why? Are yer entertainin'?

- You're kiddin'.

lf I entertained as much as you,

I shall do all right, shan't I?

What tripe you've been

goin' out with lately. My God!

- Better'n that cripple you bring home.

- What cripple? Reg? He's not a cripple.

Will be if he comes in here tonight. At

least them I go out with are not tightfisted.

Who is? You chuck your bloody money

around like a Scotchman with no arms!

Have to use a spanner to get

a threepenny bit out of his hand.

Aye, because he's comin' wise to you.

Listen, what about him you're goin' wi'?

Tight as a camel's arse in a sandstorm.

Keep yer hand over yer mouth talkin'

about him, cos yer'll get into trouble.

- You're not too big for a hidin'.

- He can't do it.

Who can't? You might find that

he's bigger than what you think.

More chance of gettin' struck by lightnin'.

Shut yer face. I'm fed up of it. It's every

Saturday night. I get ready, you're at me.

And I always go out in

a bloomin' mess and all upset.

Gettin' too big for yer boots,

thinking you own t'house.

You don't own it yet, yer know.

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