Johnny English Page #2

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inconspicuously with the guests.

- Let me know when Her Majesty arrives.

- Very good.

Shall I mingle with you, sir?

Oh, yes, Bough.

Once you've checked the roof.

[Screaming]

Help! Help!

Well, hello.

Hello yourself.

Johnny English.

Lorna Campbell.

A Bloody Mary, please,

not too spicy.

So, are you here in

some professional capacity?

I worked on the restoration of the jewels.

- Intriguing.

- And yourself?

If I told you that,

I'm afraid I'd have to kill you.

I'd like to see you try.

Monsieur Sauvage,

on behalf of Her Majesty,

may I welcome you to the Tower.

Merci, monsieur.

So, are you here alone,

Mr English?

That's how I choose

to live my life, Miss Campbell.

Women want safety, security.

I can offer them nothing but danger.

Some women find danger very attractive.

Women like you, Miss Campbell?

Women like me expect men like you...

to find that out for yourself.

Hmm.

Madame.

Oh, it's for me, actually. Could your

rustle up some of those cheesy niblets?

Now, where were we?

You obviously haven't met

our host, Monsieur Sauvage.

No, thank God.

You know, I think I'd rather have

my bottom impaled on a giant cactus...

than exchange pleasantries

with that jumped-up Frenchman.

As far as I'm concerned, the only thing

the French should host is an invasion.

[Snickers]

Sorry, can I help?

Pascal Sauvage, jumped-up Frenchman.

Lorna Campbell. I've been so

looking forward to meeting you.

- Enchant.

- [Muttering]

But of course! You're Johnny English.

I've heard all about you.

And between you and me,

I'm not so keen on the French myself.

But please don't tell them that.

Let me go and search

for your nibbly cheese bits.

- No, no, no. I--

- I insist. The French are, after all, fantastic waiters.

- The best in the world.

- Well-- But-But--

- Wait here, and I will wait on you.

- No, really. There's no--

No. Please, please, please!

Hmm. Les Franais.

Ils sont very...

n'est-ce pas?

Ladies and gentlemen,

mesdames est messieurs,

bienvenus, welcome tonight

to this wonderful occasion.

As we stand here

in the Tower of London,

the most famous prison

in the world,

where these wonderful

jewels will rest safely...

under lock and key,

I want to thank you...

for giving me

this wonderful experience...

to contribute to the restoration

of these jewels.

It was, as we say in France,

le top, le best of.

- [Feigned Chuckle]

- And what a beautiful--

[Screaming]

[Grunts]

[Woman Screams]

It's Colonel Chevenix! He's got

a nasty wound, sir. Who hit him?

The assailant.

He ran in here.

Bough, you guard the door.

Aha!

[Grunting]

[Pounding, Grunting]

For God's sake, Bough, don't come in.

The man's a maniac!

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