John Pinette: Still Hungry Page #2

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then cover it all

in a lovely, green fondant!

[Laughter]

Watch this show.

You want to play a drinking game?

Whenever he says "fondant,"

take a drink.

[Cheers and applause]

[Laughs]

15 minutes in the show,

you will have to call

an ambulance.

[Laughter]

"Oh, please,

don't say 'fondant' again."

"Our fondant was ruined!"

[Laughter]

We get it.

He can stop saying "fondant."

It's like the sheetrock of frosting.

You build with it.

[Laughter]

I understand, though,

that bakery that they have

in Hoboken is amazing.

And there's a two-hour line

to get into that bakery.

I could not stand in that line.

'Cause people walk up to me

and feel that they can say

whatever they want.

And I don't want to hear it.

Standing in a cake line.

[Laughter]

"Excuse me, sir,

are you waiting in line for cake?

You have nothing better to do?"

"You're right."

[Laughter]

With my luck, my cardiologist

would drive by

while I was waiting in line

for cake and beep the horn.

[Laughter]

"Get out of the line!"

[Cheers and applause]

I ii

"I didn't know

they sold cake here.

I thought it was a pharmacy!

[Laughter]

I was gonna get my vitamins...

...and my cholesterol medication."

And you know what?

I ain't waiting in line outside for food.

I was in Birmingham, Alabama,

and they love

the Olive Garden there.

Now, the Olive Garden --

it's good.

Their main thing is, though,

you can have

all the salad you want.

Oh, you spoil me!

[Laughter]

They do use a lot of dressing

in the salad, though.

I've had lettuce, like, floating

in dressing like a dead body.

"Oh, God, they whacked the salad!

[Laughter]

It was a hit!"

And in Birmingham, Alabama,

people are waiting outside

to get into Olive Garden.

They think they're in Italy!

They love it there!

And the nice hostess goes,

"You know what?

It's gonna be about two hours.

Is that okay?"

"For lunch at the Olive Garden?

Absolutely!

I'll be outside.

You come and get me.

Make sure you look for me."

[Laughter]

I don't get that at all.

My sisters got me a panini maker.

I don't like paninis.

[Laughter]

Well, first of all,

my sisters -- very nice.

They got it for me for my birthday.

And I tell them,

"Don't buy me anything,"

'cause I don't want anything.

I -- You know what?

I want to give.

It's better to give than to receive,

and the gifts are stupid,

and I can't pretend anymore!

[Laughter]

[Cheers and applause]

In---

I can't look at them and go,

"Oh, a panini maker!

How did you know?

I was having trouble

making sandwiches,

and you saved me."

[Laughter]

You want to make a panini?

Get a frying pan.

[Laughter]

Put the bread on there.

Put stuff in bread.

Wait five minutes.

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