Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser Page #3

that, God willing, will outlast everybody

in this room.

Joe and I would appreciate it if you would

show the proper reverence.

Oh, baby, that's so good.

She got the speeches down.

That's poetry right there.

You're my little MLK, baby.

Mmm.

This Brandy chick is pure gold.

Inside and out.

Mmm. Mmm.

A woman like that loving a man like him.

I must have misjudged this fool.

What do you say we deliver these babies?

Wow. Martin Scorsese couldn't compose

a better shot.

What more could a guy ask for?

That wasn't it.

Hey, what did Brandy just say?

Let's deliver us some babies.

You got it, Joe Dirt.

Give us some room. Three babies comin' up.

- Push! Push!

- You got this.

Come on. You can do it!

Are they talking?

Congratulations, you have triplets!

What?

Brandy, you hear that? We got us a little

NASCAR pit crew. I'm so happy.

Joe, it's sweet that you wanna

name them Brandy Junior, Brandy Brandy,

and Brandy 2.0 the Special Edition,

but they need real names.

You're right. You're the brains of the outfit.

All right, how about this, I've been thinking

- Def Lep, Skynyrd and Seger.

- Joe! Be serious.

I know. The Def Lep one is wrong.

That's no good. All right, how about this?

383 Magnum, 440 Magnum,

and 426, it's a Hemi.

It's a Hemi. Everyone loves a Hemi.

Joe, I am naming them.

All right, you constructed them,

you did all the work.

You made 'em perfect and amazing.

What do you got?

Cheyenne, Abilene, and Dakota.

So perfect. You're so good at this,

three for three.

- Yeah?

- You did good.

Look at 'em.

So everything was good.

Sure there were some bumps.

Like this local guy, Jimmy Yauch.

Man, he was worse than Robby.

What you doing over there?

Makes the smoke minty fresh.

What, are you a scientist now?

No, I drive a truck for Kipper's tow yard.

I thought you knew that.

And you suck what? I didn't hear that.

First of all, no, and second, who's

feeding you all this false information?

Well, that would be your mother, son.

Oh.

I think you better stop.

You better stop now.

'Cause like Omar say,

"You come at the king, you best not miss."

- But, I didn't come at you.

- Anyways, boys, I been working on a song.

About the hottest shorty boo that ever

did walk the face of the Earth.

And I'm telling you this right now.

Brandy, one day she will be mine.

Now this I swear.

Check this out.

I'm a son of a gun

not a box of six-gun repeaters

I'm a backdoor man

not just some Walmart greeter, yeah

I'm rocking a double five-five wiener

Looking for Brandy's love meter

Whoa, whoa, yeah, yeah

Damn it, I know I suck.

I ain't got no poetry.

See, with a girl like Brandy,

you got to have some poetry in you.

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