Jerry Before Seinfeld Page #3

Synopsis: Comedian Jerry Seinfeld takes the stage at the comedy club where he began his career to recount his early life.
Director(s): Michael Bonfiglio
Production: Netflix
 
IMDB:
7.0
Rotten Tomatoes:
93%
TV-14
Year:
2017
62 min
618 Views


[laughter]

I liked the Good Humor man.

I would wait for him.

That was another huge thing of life,

the guy who was the...

You hear that little jingle bell,

and the white truck,

and the little white suit, and we would

stand in line behind the truck,

and all the different ice creams that you

could get was on the back of the truck,

placed right over the exhaust pipe.

[laughter]

If you had a Dixie Cup,

it was the equivalent

of smoking a pack of Camels.

[laughter]

Nobody cared!

These were good times!

[laughs]

[movie projector whirring]

[Jerry] There was no drama in my life,

or in my family, or in my world.

Would I have been funnier

if I grew up in Peoria

in a whorehouse, raised by prostitutes?

Absolutely.

But this is what I had to work with.

My parents were really nice,

Betty and Kal.

I had a wonderful older sister, Carolyn.

It was a nice family.

But I just always felt, like,

"Could you just leave me alone?"

My first thing I ever said -

my first words were, "Leave me alone."

I used to knock over lamps or something,

and they used to say, "Leave it alone."

And then, one day, I yelled back,

"Leave me alone."

I just didn't want the normal thing.

I just didn't want anything normal.

I just thought, "That world

that these people live in is very boring,

and I want to be in a more fun place."

[laughter]

I had glasses at ten, braces at 12.

I said to my parents, "Let's not stop now.

How about a hearing aid,

orthopedic shoes?"

[laughter]

"I'm thinking about talking to a girl

for the very first time in my life.

I want as much corrective apparatus

on my head as I can possibly get.

I think that's what women like."

[laughter]

I had a yo-yo. I-I liked that.

The yo-yo was pretty great.

That was one of my good toys.

I could do the yo-yo pretty good.

And I read about the yo-yo

and found out the yo-yo was originally

invented as a weapon in the Philippines.

An interesting

and obscure piece of information.

Hard to imagine

Filipino tribesmen warring with yo-yos.

Planes flying low over enemy villages,

they lean out the door...

[clicks tongue]

[laughter]

"I think I got the chief."

[laughter]

But I didn't have...

You know, there was no Chuck E. Cheese

and Toys "R" Us.

There was none of that.

So, you know, you just did

whatever your parents were doing.

Wherever they had to go,

you know, I would go.

So, my mother would want to go

to the wallpaper store,

that was my day, you know?

And that was my mother's favorite store.

She loved those giant books of wallpaper.

She would read them, turn the pages.

It was like the Koran.

[exhales]

Huge. She was looking at the patterns.

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Jerry Seinfeld

Jerome Allen Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. He is known for playing a semi-fictionalized version of himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David. more…

All Jerry Seinfeld scripts | Jerry Seinfeld Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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