Jerry Before Seinfeld

Synopsis: Comedian Jerry Seinfeld takes the stage at the comedy club where he began his career to recount his early life.
Director(s): Michael Bonfiglio
Production: Netflix
 
IMDB:
7.0
Rotten Tomatoes:
93%
TV-14
Year:
2017
62 min
213 Views


Do you get in it? No.

On it? No.

Off it? No.

What do you do with Uber?

- [man] You grab it.

- [man] You get one.

No. No.

[woman] You just take it.

You take it! You take Uber!

[laughter]

Because there's no money!

It's, like, free.

I don't even know how it works.

Do we even pay for that?

[laughter]

I think it's just a free thing,

comes with the phone.

Any time you're just like...

Little cartoon cars,

they go wherever you want.

"How did you get here?"

"We took an Uber.

I don't know, we just..."

It's like M&Ms in a bowl,

you just take them.

Just take whatever you want.

[laughter]

And uh so I came here

and I auditioned on this stage,

and the little sign-up sheet is outside,

that I wrote with my little

"Jerry Seinfeld."

You know, it was just my parents' address,

and "type of act: comedian."

"Any special requirements? No."

[laughter]

And I only had one joke that worked...

[laughter]

which I'm going to do for you

right now.

And...

[cheering and applause]

If you ever think yourself

that you might want to someday do comedy,

this is not the way you do it.

Don't ever say,

"I'm going to tell you a joke now."

[laughter]

So, I'm left-handed.

Left-handed people do not like

that the word "left" is so often

associated with negative things.

Two left feet, left-handed compliment.

"What are we having for dinner?"

"Leftovers."

[laughter]

You go to a party, nobody's there.

"Where did everybody go?" "They left."

[laughter]

[applause]

That was it.

That was my first joke.

[cheering]

[laughs]

And it was a pretty good joke,

and uh they passed me on the audition,

and I started coming here

every single night.

So, I grew up in the '60s,

and I see a lot of beautiful

young people here tonight,

enjoying your life of uh...

Rate this script:(5.00 / 1 vote)

Jerry Seinfeld

Jerome Allen Seinfeld is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. He is known for playing a semi-fictionalized version of himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David. more…

All Jerry Seinfeld scripts | Jerry Seinfeld Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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