Jeff, Who Lives at Home Page #2

It was a nice day,

so I thought I'd walk around.

Were you following me, or...

No. I mean, no.

I saw you on the bus.

Let me explain.

Have you ever seen the movie Signs?

With Mel Gibson and Rory Culkin,

and Abigail Breslin?

Nah, I don't think I have.

I got a phone call this morning.

Someone was asking for Kevin.

But there's no Kevin who lives with me.

It's kind of a common name.

Yeah. I guess that's true.

I mean, you never got a call,

like someone called

the wrong house phone?

What if there's no wrong numbers?

Maybe it's always the right house phone.

Everything happens for a reason, right?

Exactly. No, that's exactly it.

Hey, man, I'm about to go

put something in the air real quick.

I don't know if you want to come.

I don't... I'm sorry...

I don't know what that means.

Smoke weed?

You want to smoke weed with me?

Yeah, man.

I like weed.

Yeah, I can see that.

Wow.

It's nice in here.

- That's nice.

- Yeah.

Oh, sh*t. That's a treat.

Check his pockets!

Sorry, Jeff.

Marriage is a compromise.

She got what she wanted,

I'm living here in Baton Rouge.

So I get a little somethin'-somethin'.

- Right?

- Sure.

Yeah.

Thank you. You know what's up.

I got to take this... It's a business call.

Sweetheart, can I get another Bud Light.

Do you want more wings?

Whatever.

Fine. I will get glue and fix your shutter.

No. It is Jeff's responsibility.

That is the point.

He has to do it, not you.

Jeff has to do it.

Okay. What are you...

Why are you calling me?

Maybe you could get him

moving a little bit. Do you understand?

He's stuck, honey. He's stuck.

He's 30!

He had a difficult adolescent period.

You of all people would know neither of

us had a very easy adolescent period.

- You were older.

- What does that have to do with it?

When you're an adult, you take

responsibility for your life. Okay?

But you're brothers.

You love each other, don't you?

You know, fake it

for a little bit just to get... You know.

Maybe he'll grow on you.

We don't do that, Mom. We don't

spend time together.

Well, Pat, could you at least try?

It's my birthday.

I gotta call you back.

- No, no, no, Pat...

- Bye.

Damn it. A**hole.

Jeff!

Pat?

What the hell are you doing here?

Kevin beat me up. I walked.

Who's Kevin?

Some kid I was following.

Well, if he's a kid,

how come you didn't kick his ass?

Because I don't believe in fighting, Pat.

And you know that.

Right. I forgot. You're a p*ssy.

Look, Mom called

and she's really pissed.

Was Gandhi a p*ssy?

Yeah, Gandhi was a p*ssy.

And once again,

I have to pick up your slack.

Well, it's not your problem.

Well, it becomes my problem

when Mom calls me

in the middle of a business meeting.

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