Jake's Journey

Synopsis: A normal teenager is transported to a Monty Pythonesque medieval fantasy land where an odd, adamant knight takes him on a quest.
25 min

I have here a love letter

from prince Kevin the Rich.

He thought he might not be rich enough

to land this very rich princess

so he's gone off on a crusade or two,

and gave me this proposal of marriage.

We must brave many hazards,

dragons and so on,

to deliver it to his beloved,

the princess Yeugh.

That is our quest.

Our quest? No, no no no.

I'm not on a quest,

I'm not even a page,

I shouldn't even be here.

Stop. The rules of questing

subsection B, pages, says:

Rule one.

Until the quest is finished,

no page may claim

that he is not a page, not on a quest,

or should be somewhere else,

on pain of dismemberment.

Rule two is exactly the same,

only slightly more cruel.

I once had a page who claimed

that he was from another century.

Oh yeah, what happened to him?

Burned at the stake.

Heresy, I think it was.


So tell me about this princess Yeugh.

I mean she sounds kind of horrible.

She's called Yeugh because her parents

thought it would be character forming.

But she is ludicrously rich, and also

a princess, and therefore, pretty.

But I expect she is the

usual curvaceous blonde,

with pert, shapely...

things, and so on and so on.

Come in!

What do you mean, come in,

we can't come in, we're all out.

Well, if we're all out, I'm not in.

Good day to you.

Damn, damn.

Oh, damn.

Oh, sorry about all that.

Have a nice day.

I wonder what that was all about.

Witches don't usually

appear for nothing.

Oh, I nearly forgot.

Had a note for you.

Got burnt.

It just said, beware.

Well that's not

particularly useful is it.

Didn't it even say

when we had to beware?

Only beware, beware!

Even more stupid than I thought.


Now for this dragon.

- Dragons don't exist.

- Quite right lad.

Dragons is a metaphor

for some unspeakable horror.

Rate this script:(1.00 / 1 vote)

Graham Chapman

Graham Arthur Chapman (8 January 1941 – 4 October 1989) was an English comedian, writer, actor, author and one of the six members of the surreal comedy group Monty Python. He played authority figures such as the Colonel and the lead role in two Python films, Holy Grail and Life of Brian. more…

All Graham Chapman scripts | Graham Chapman Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Jake's Journey" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 3 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jake's_journey_11151>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.