Jake's Journey

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I have here a love letter

from prince Kevin the Rich.

He thought he might not be rich enough

to land this very rich princess

so he's gone off on a crusade or two,

and gave me this proposal of marriage.

We must brave many hazards,

dragons and so on,

to deliver it to his beloved,

the princess Yeugh.

That is our quest.

Our quest? No, no no no.

I'm not on a quest,

I'm not even a page,

I shouldn't even be here.

Stop. The rules of questing

subsection B, pages, says:

Rule one.

Until the quest is finished,

no page may claim

that he is not a page, not on a quest,

or should be somewhere else,

on pain of dismemberment.

Rule two is exactly the same,

only slightly more cruel.

I once had a page who claimed

that he was from another century.

Oh yeah, what happened to him?

Burned at the stake.

Heresy, I think it was.

Great.

So tell me about this princess Yeugh.

I mean she sounds kind of horrible.

She's called Yeugh because her parents

thought it would be character forming.

But she is ludicrously rich, and also

a princess, and therefore, pretty.

But I expect she is the

usual curvaceous blonde,

with pert, shapely...

things, and so on and so on.

Come in!

What do you mean, come in,

we can't come in, we're all out.

Well, if we're all out, I'm not in.

Good day to you.

Damn, damn.

Oh, damn.

Oh, sorry about all that.

Have a nice day.

I wonder what that was all about.

Witches don't usually

appear for nothing.

Oh, I nearly forgot.

Had a note for you.

Got burnt.

It just said, beware.

Well that's not

particularly useful is it.

Didn't it even say

when we had to beware?

Only beware, beware!

Even more stupid than I thought.

Right.

Now for this dragon.

- Dragons don't exist.

- Quite right lad.

Dragons is a metaphor

for some unspeakable horror.

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