Jake's Journey Page #2

---

The road to the castle should

cross the stream round about here.

I think there is a troll bridge.

- Will we have to pay?

- Right, that's it.

I'm not going any further with you.

- Why? What did I do?

That was a blatant attempt at a pun,

the second lowest form of wit.

You heard perfectly well it is a bridge

guarded by a troll, not a toll bridge.

I won't move any further

until you've apologized.

- I'm sorry.

- Right.

So what is a troll anyway?

Well, it's a sort of huge,

pointy, fierce, hairy,

slimy greenish uncooperative

entity which eats people.

Smaller people.

Anyone under five foot eleven.

- That's, that's very specific.

- They are.

But that's no more than

you not liking eggplant.

Do you like eggplant?

- No way.

Well there you are then.

How tall are you?

Five ten and a half with shoes.

Shoes don't count.

Wait a second, so if I try to cross this

bridge, this thing is going to eat me?

Unless we distract it in some way.

Don't worry, I have a plan.

Look out, there's someone behind you.

Aha!

What a life.

I've been knocking people

in this river and eating them

for twenty eight,

no, thirty years.

And what do I get?

"Look out, there's someone behind you."

There must be more to life than this.

He kind of sounds like my father.

Middle age, I suppose.

It's only a phase.

So how do we get around him?

You should know that.

Distract him.

Wait, I thought you had a plan.

That's it.

Off you go, you can do it.

Good plan, real good plan there.

I die, you watch.

Good morning.

Are you talking to me?

Yeah.

You know, I thought there was supposed

to be a troll around here or something.

Oh really?

He must have gone.

You know, I really like your shirt.

- Shirt?

- Your shirt, it's brilliant.

- What, this?

- Yeah.

It's trendy.

Did you get that around here?

No.

I've had it for years.

No kidding.

And who does your hair?

What do you mean?

Well I mean, it's awesome.

What do you mean, "it's awesome"?

I mean it's spiky, and it looks good.

No...!

Do you really think so?

Yeah, really.

Do you get I cut around here?

No, no, it just grows like this.

You are so lucky, I could

never do that with my hair.

Well, it is different.

Different?

Your hair is fantastic.

Well, yes, I suppose

it is a bit fantastic, yes.

It is certainly the best

hair in the forest, yeah.

Yeah, I think you got something there.

Trendy, hey?

Fancy that.

You are a nice young man.

- Well done!

- I did it, didn't I?

Now, things begin to get tricky.

Look out, behind you.

Look, I'm not talking about

other centuries, it's just that,

you know, I came from some place else,

and I'd like to get back there.

Me too, but I can't tell you any more,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes