Jackass Number Two Page #4

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Knoxville could do back flips.

It was, like, a front flip.

- Where do yaks come from?

- That's from Siberia.

So that's why Eskimos

don't have rodeos.

Yeah.

Tell me about your

original drawing for this.

See, when I come up with my ideas,

I don't write them down.

I just draw a picture

and fax it to Los Angeles.

I just drew a picture of a fat-ass

and a little guy

with a bungee cord connected.

Jason, how do you compare this

kind of athleticism to what you guys do?

You guys are

a hell of a lot more athletic than us

and a lot crazier, too.

Dude, look how nervous he is.

We're here in Miami Beach

with Jason Taylor

and this is the Bungee Jump.

- Are you ready, Preston?

- Just go! Just go!

Three, two, one...

Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh, my God.

- Preston.

- That worked perfect.

- Did I yank you?

- Oh, f***, yeah.

Okay, I went down, I'm upside-down,

I see Preston coming.

Once he was past me,

he pulled me down more.

- So, like, I slammed the water.

- Oh, you were above the water?

Yeah, I felt the full pressure

of the bungee.

That was intense. Really intense.

Well, not really intense,

but pretty intense.

- What's your name again?

- What? Irving.

- Irving, yeah.

- Irving Zisman.

Hey, can we get some fries, please?

Some time today.

There you go. Take a sip.

That'll put lead in your pencil, kid.

You got a light?

Sh*t.

Hey, little guy, is that a real cigarette?

- Piss off, man.

- Is it?

He said, "Piss off!"

Jesus.

Here, Gramps.

Thank you.

Don't hog it all, you little prick.

Give me that.

- This is LA.

- What?

- This is LA.

- Yeah?

- Don't do what?

- We don't drink out in public.

- You don't drink out in public?

- No.

- Well, maybe you should start, bub.

- Yeah. Where are you guys from?

- We're from your face.

- Yeah?

- Mind your own business, a**hole.

- What?

I said,

"Mind your own business, a**hole."

- Okay, you'd better be quiet, buddy.

- What are you gonna do?

- You wanna step outside?

- We're already outside, numbnuts.

He asked me if I wanted to step outside.

- You are from LA, ain't you, boy?

- Do you want to go around the block?

Yeah, we'll go around the block.

We'll go around the block

and see your mother.

This is bullshit.

We're surrounded by cocksuckers.

All right, kid.

It's time for Grandpa's massage.

You get massages

with happy endings?

That's right.

- Say goodbye to the hippies.

- Bye, hippies.

- Don't get beat up out here.

- "Beat up out here"?

I don't have to worry about that in LA.

Not with you skinny sons of b*tches.

Okay, Old Man River.

Watch your mouth.

I hear a lot of talking.

You're letting that bulldog mouth

overload that puppy-dog ass.

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