Jackass Number Two Page #3

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Yeah, it looks great.

- Oh, my God.

- All right, cast me out, God damn it.

Now it's time for some man-fishing.

- The hammerhead's right there.

- Oh, my God.

Thank God we brought Manny

to make sure sharks would show up.

He's coming to get you, Steve-O.

Act like a sick or wounded animal.

Look at that fin right behind him.

Dude, isn't this movie

supposed to be a comedy?

I can't believe I'm fishing for sharks

with Steve-O as my bait.

It's like a dream come true.

Oh, my God.

- Here comes a mako!

- Oh, sh*t! Steve-O!

Oh, my God.

He's right behind you, Steve-O.

- I am the f*** out of here.

- No, you're good, man.

Stay in there.

The shark's coming right at you!

Oh, sh*t.

- Come on, stay out there, O!

- You already got the f***ing shot!

I want to hear Manny scream.

Dude, I f***ing kicked the thing

in the f***ing head!

Get up here.

Steve-O, do you know

how lucky you are?

A mako almost bit your foot off.

I've been so lucky today.

F***!

You are lucky.

F***, that hurts. Damn it.

Thank you so much, God.

You bastard.

This is champion card-thrower

Jim Karol.

He's come to throw cards

into Wee Man's ass.

What Wee Man doesn't realize is that

he'll be sitting on the Electric Stool.

God, I hate picking on Wee Man.

- Wee Man, I'd say you're up.

- Jump up on the stool.

All right, on three

I'm gonna whip it at you.

You might feel it a little bit, all right?

- On three. Ready?

- Don't worry about it.

One,

two...

F***! That f***ing...

Did it hit a nerve?

- Dude, it hit, like, right in there.

- Oh, I'm sorry. I threw it too hard.

Try one more. It didn't stick.

He's going to get it to stick.

On three. One,

two,

three.

I don't f***ing like that, dude.

No, I don't f***ing like that, dude.

That f***ing hurts, dude.

Tell the camera

exactly what's happening.

All right, every time this dude

throws a f***ing card in my ass,

it f***ing jolts me, so I jump off.

I'm not going to f***ing sit there.

- Let me do a pickup shot.

- No.

The pickup shot is,

you pinch the card in your butt.

- Just stick it in there so it's sticking out.

- All right.

- Okay, go.

- One, two, three.

It's still in there.

- Jump back up.

- Do you want me to lift you on there?

- Wait...

- Okay, f***ers!

No, there's a machine in here

f***ing doing it,

you f***ing f***ers.

Where's the f***ing

card-throwing machine?

Where's the f***ing

card-throwing machine, dude?

Show him what it is.

Show him what's funny.

Oh, the f***ing chair's rigged!

Oh, my God.

There's a card-throwing machine

in here, dude.

Dude, Wee Man, I would never use

a card-throwing machine on you.

That couldn't have gone any better.

I didn't know that

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