Jack And Jill vs. The World Page #3

# Anywhere you like #

... in a pen with a herd of real sheep.

Yes?

Jill, can... can you come

out here for a sec?

Okay.

See...

the thing is, I like my space.

And, you know, you just moved in.

We're roommates.

So... there's a problem.

'Cause I'm a creature

of habit, you know?

I'm set in my ways.

And although they may

not be tremendously great habits,

they're still my habits,

and they work for me.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Okay.

'Cause I'm... I'm neat. I'm organized.

And now I got pink,

and there's veggies and...

So...

I don't think we should sleep together.

I mean, it was great.

You were great. I just... I really think

it just sort of complicates

the situation here.

And I, uh...

I'm definitely not into this obsession

everyone has

with finding their soul mates

and all that nonsense.

So that's not gonna happen here.

No love.

- Great.

- Jack.

Can I catch a ride?

Sure. Fine. Fine.

Lucy, can I ask you

a question?

Go for it.

How come every time I see you,

you're, like, different?

Different how?

The other day, you were, like,

some kind of Goth character,

and today it's like...

Is there some kind of rule

that says I gotta be one thing?

No.

Did you wake up this morning

and feel exactly

the same way you did yesterday?

No.

Hmm.

Okay, so...

how do you feel today, then?

Let's see.

Last night, I got skunked

by this loser in a linen suit

who looked a lot better in the dark.

So this morning while I was trying

to escape his waterbed,

I had this whole

self-loathing thing going on.

And by the time I got home,

I was full-on disgusted.

So I pulled this out, and I thought...

"Yeah. It works."

I don't know. When I feel like a robot,

I guess I'll dress like one.

Okay.

Can I ask you a question?

What?

Are you a barfer?

Excuse me?

Bulimic or something?

'Cause you're skinny and you eat a lot,

like, more than anyone I know.

I have cystic fibrosis.

Is that bad?

Not the greatest.

What does that mean?

Ahem. Well, it means that...

I don't absorb nutrients

like most people.

So I have to eat a lot.

And that's it?

Um... no.

There's a pulmonary component.

My lungs are building up scar tissue,

which eventually...

But some people

live to be in their 40s.

So you're this hot chick,

and you've got cystic fibrosis.

Yes, but is there a rule that says

I have to be one thing?

Jack, have you ever thought

about getting a dog?

No.

Might lighten you up a bit,

get you out of the house,

meet other dog people.

The assumption here is that

I want to meet other people.

Jack?

Yeah.

Are you gay?

Yes, George. I'm gay.

No, because Sally

thinks maybe... maybe you're gay.

I just said I was.

No, you're not.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes