Jack and Diane Page #2

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for anyone.

It's just, like,

this...

cheesy song over and over.

And, like...

but...

I...

This was my brother's.

I've been, like,

saving it.

I'm just gonna be lame

and say it.

This is something

I wanted to share

with the most special person

in the world,

and I always thought.

I'd know that person

when I found them.

And...

I've been, like, waiting.

And I thought maybe...

I don't know, I kinda

think that that's you.

Am I freaking you out?

Okay.

You wanna hear it?

Okay, here.

Oh, sh*t.

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

I can fix it.

Plus we have, like,

a lot of time ahead of us.

Right?

That's cool.

- Hey, you okay?

- Fine.

Why didn't you call last night?

Sorry. I got in late.

I met someone, though.

I think you'd totally like her.

I'm thinking...

that I might not go away anymore.

What are you talking about?

Well, it was, like, your idea

in the first place, and...

I said no phone.

- I'm on the phone to Karen.

- Tell her you're grounded.

Aunt Linda is so retarded.

No wonder she doesn't have kids.

- Give me that.

- No, let me finish.

One, two...

Jeez, what'd you do?

Okay, you have to do

something for me.

- You have to call Jack.

- Jack?

Yeah, she's my kind of girlfriend.

I promised I'd call her tonight.

- ...eight, nine...

- No way.

You're gonna really like her,

and all you have to do

is pretend to be me.

But you can't tell her

anything about me leaving.

And there's this thing

you have to do

when you dial her number,

'cause I lost

some of the digits.

And when you're dialing,

you have to guess.

I think it was...

Feel

What I feel

Feel

What I do

Feel

What I do

Going nowhere...

Jack?

Jack!

Jesus Christ.

Phone.

Hello?

Hi.

Is this Jack?

Yeah. Diane?

I thought you were gonna

call me when you got home.

Well... well, I just got home.

You just got home?

I thought you were late.

Late for what?

I don't know, you just, like,

took off really fast.

Yeah, I had a... I had,

to run errands.

What are you doing?

I'm talking to you.

I can't be that loud.

I wish you were here.

Yeah, me, too.

Are you touching yourself?

Excuse me?

Let me be your hands.

How does it feel?

I'm not gay.

- What?

- I can't do this.

- I've got to go.

- Wait, don't go. It's cool.

This isn't Diane.

What are you talking about?

Hey, girl.

So, what do you want

to do today?

I have to do stuff here today.

Cool.

Well, I'll help you, and we can go.

F... f***.

Why don't you girls sit down,

and I'll make some sandwiches?

Hilary,

where's the 60 quid...

- You borrowed off me?

- Hey.

You're gonna love this.

- What is that?

- It's Marmite and bagel.

I'm not really hungry.

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