It Runs in the Family Page #2

Aye, Captain.

Are you ready to go?

Where are we going?

Pesach. We're going to a Seder.

Passover?

Not yet.

Gefilte fish?

Mama makes good gefilte fish.

Gefilte fish, yes.

But not Mama's.

Zabar's.

My daughter-in-law can't cook.

What are they doing? That's gross!

You don't know what that is?

That's 69.

69's all right,

but it's nothin' like oral sex.

Get off, Shea!

Anybody wet their Pampers today?

No. You?

You're in little Abby Staley's

class, right?

You tell little Abby that she

never finished what she started.

Tell her I've waited too long,

my balls are gonna burst.

- Miss Congeniality.

- Gromberg, are you following me?

Following you?

Why would I be following you?

You just called me a zoo monkey

smeared in my own faeces.

Which I actually thought

was kind of funny.

But, no, I'm on my way uptown

to go pick up my grandmother.

Your grandmother?

That is such bullshit.

No, I am. Sometimes

I pick her up from dialysis.

You are so following me,

and I wish you would stop it.

You know what, Peg? You excite me.

You are so moronic, it is unreal.

- Screw me.

- I don't think so.

No, I gotta go.

But before I do,

let me get your digits.

- Excuse me?

- Your phone number.

You don't get the message?

What do I have to do,

barf on your Nikes?

Just give me your number and

I'll quit hasslin' you.

It's on the class roster,

under "Unavailable".

At least give me some skin.

Excuse me, is Mrs Gromberg here?

You just missed her.

I put her in a taxi ten minutes ago.

Damn!

Was she OK, at least?

Listen, she's old.

It takes a lot out of her.

If you can't be here on time, get

somebody else who can pick her up.

What kinda sh*t-ass portion is this?

Now serve it up!

What kinda sh*t-ass portion is this?

Now serve it up!

Is everything OK, Suzie?

I explained that we don't give

seconds until everyone's had a turn.

She ain't gave me but a few carrots.

A man needs his vitamin E.

Vitamin A, but you're right,

it keeps the eyes sharp.

We can't serve seconds

till everybody gets firsts.

I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

You sit down and enjoy your meal,

and I'm gonna make a plate here.

And if you're still hungry,

you come on back here,

and this plate will be sittin'

waitin' for you, right, right here.

Aren't you the little peacemaker

today?

They should give you an award.

They already have. Most dishes

washed, Lake Kiamasha, 1966.

Yeah, but not for how many you do.

It's for how damn good you look

when you do them.

- Wait a minute.

- What?

Don't tell me you haven't felt it.

- Felt what?

- The heat.

Between us. For weeks now.

All the steam. The chafing dishes.

What?

I am so... wet.

- You know I'm married, Suzie.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes