It's Not My Fault and I Don't Care Anyway Page #3

it was never enough.

- Smoke a little of

this so you hear me,

but no much you

can't listen, you know.

Thank you, sir.

Sir.

Dis muthafucka polite!

A muthafucking gentleman

giant up in ma muthafucka!

That's a big man.

That's Moose.

Dat's Bottlecap.

Dis is -

Who the f*** you?

I'm Darla.

Darla.

What do you think

of my new giant?

Aw... He looks like a

big old Teddy bear.

Oh no.

He a demon.

See Johnny,

he was a crook of all trades.

Lately he was trying

to move into Chinatown.

And that was what I was

supposed to help with.

You see there was this

Chinese guy called Wing.

Dis mutherfucka Wing!

Got Chinatown wrapped

around his pink shorties!

And you, you be just de

dimensions to whip it from

his grip, you feel me?

Got a plan. Mega brilliant.

Megawatt like the sun

is my mind, big friend.

Because honestly,

that's just how he talks.

We're going to put a

scare in him and scare the

white from his rice, no time!

Better den killin'

him, you know.

We gonna fear him

something worse than death.

A demon, to haunt his dreams.

Ya do dis.

Ya do it right, and you

get high on de Johnny.

All month.

Ya do it right.

Wait, wait, wait.

He said he he wanted to

scare the white from his rice?

Yessir.

Continue.

Wing was the wisest of

the old Chinese wise guys.

Everybody in Chinatown

did what he said.

Johnny said that

if Wing fell into line,

the other shopkeepers would too.

- Like little yellow dominoes.

- Because Johnny was kinda

racist for a black guy.

Anyway, the

one thing about Wing,

like his one weakness maybe-

He was superstitious.

He believed in demons.

Not demons that

hafta stay in hell,

like Christians believe. But

demons that infect your soul.

Demons that will kill

your whole family line,

like in that

movie about Bruce Lee.

- Anyway, dis here.

Dis will make ya voice even

more deep and scary

than it is right now.

Hello.

I sound like Darth Vader.

No ya sound like a bad ass

mudder focka, mudder focka.

The force is strong

with this one.

Yeah, yeah.

Luke! I am your father.

Don't f*** around.

Sorry.

Dat's right.

You're more than Darth Vader.

You...

You're something better.

Something else.

What am I?

Are you a scary demon,

head ass escaping monsta

style, mudder focka!

Yeah.

Who's da scary monsta?

I'm the scary monster!

Der's one lass ting.

What's that?

Ya gotta smell right.

What do you mean?

Demons are of death and decay.

Yeah.

Ya don't smell of roses,

but you're not quite yet

of death and decay neither.

Okay.

I've been keeping

dees in the closet.

Two months.

Hmm.

It stinks.

Not enough.

No, like that really stinks.

Is this sh*t?

Yeahh.

Is this human sh*t?

Yeah. It's Moose's.

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