It's Not My Fault and I Don't Care Anyway

Synopsis: Patrick Spencer is a legend in the self-help world, teaching a level of considered selfishness that would make Ayn Rand jealous. "Why are we sitting in cubicles, flushing the hours of our lives down some corporate toilet, and not even reaping the rewards! Instead our toil goes to wives and husbands and daughters and charities and relatives who are down on their luck, and other such parasites who would drag you down and keep you from your truest self. They will pull you under. It is you or them." Brian Calhoun is a giant, towering over 7 feet tall. He's also a homeless heroin addict, living in his Dad's old Cadillac, who's been recruited by his dealer to be his thug - paid in free heroin. "I mean, that is like a lot of heroin, a week's supply! Maybe I could get ahead on my bottle an addict like me, that's like a dream." Diana Spencer is the disaffected daughter of a famous and emotionally detached father in a support group for her sex addiction. "My sex life was getting
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Chris Craddock
  1 win & 1 nomination.
96 min

We always call him

Johnny Three-Fingers.

Nobody knows how he

lost those fingers.

Some say he lost em in a bet.

One guy told me

he chewed them off to get

out of a pair of handcuffs.

I buy my medicine from Lil'

Charles, but everybody knows

that Johnny's the boss.

Well, one day I was

buying my medicine,

and I was about 50 cents short.

Yo, that's

50 cents short, Giantman.

Yeah. I think I got it.

Yo. You ain't got it,

you ain't got it.

Move along, double-stuff.

Oh my holy

mudda of f*ck.

Is dis a mountain

I see before me?

Are you some kinda urban

Sasquatch? You all seeing dis?

You seeing the raw, magnificent

size of dis here muthafucka?

Yeah, boss. They call

him the Giantman.


Now what's this, you say

you fifty cents short?


Can you give me a break?

I mean, it's only fifty cents.

And I feel everyone

stop and then I remember why.

I said 'only' to Johnny.

About money.

He once beat a man half to

death for saying 'only'

about five dollars.


Only you muthafuck...

Only five dollars, you fuckwad!


And that's a famous

story where I live.

I really screwed up bad.

Yeah, Giantman.

I'ma give you a break.

I'm give you a big break!

So, I'm told that being

a young person with absent

parents, I need extra guidance

or whatever, or else I risk

being a super fucked up mega-

bitch and I'll spend all

my money on coke and be a freak.

I don't want that, and

neither do any of my agents.

So here I am.

But I also have to ask, are

you sure that this the cure?

Telling these stories?

Because like, yours

are all like super hot.

It's seriously, I mean like,

titillating, you know.

You with the pool boy...

And like you giving

blowjobs at the airport...

I never did any of that stuff,

but now I kinda want to!

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